Boho Days
by lovelive22
Summary: A new girl has moved in across the hall, Rachael Adams, a girl from Roger's past and of Marks future. What will happen as the relationship moves foreward? Will they be able to get through it all as life's turns threaten to tear their relationship apart?
1. Simply Captivating

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DISCLAIMER- Yes, Jonathan Larson (god), made all the wonderful characters of Rent. I am in no way ripping of the amazing Rent creator he ownes them all. I however own my fictional characters such as Rachael Adams and more to come.

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Chapter One: Simply Captivating

**Marks POV**

A knock came at the door, I checked the clock, they were on time as usual. Marueen and Joanne were bringing over their kids, today was little Ryan's birthday. I opened the door to see Joanne holding their newest, Ella, in her arms, and Ryan hanging on her arm. Marueen was behind them carrying presents and decorations. Ryan saw me and ran over, wrapping his arms around my legs, saying, "Uncle Marky!"

I smiled and ruffled his hair, "Hey mister birthday boy. How are you?"

"Good." He said then ran past me to grab my camera which was lying on the couch, he was always wanting to play with it.

I gave Joanne a hug, "Hey Jo." I tickled Ella's stomach, which made her giggle and beary her head into Joanne. She was shy.

"Hey."

Maureen came forward, I held my hand out, "Hey Mo, need help?" She looked like she was struggling.

She nodded," Thanks!" then she handed me a bag or two, which were pretty heavy.

I put them on the table, then went over to Roger's door and knocked on it, "Rog, theyre here."

He didn't respond, which I figured he might. It had been 1 year since Mimi had died, and although he was active and still living No Day But Today, he had a somber attitude about him. With Mimi gone, he had a heavy heart. I hoped Roger would come out today. We set up for the party, and Collins came in a little late.

"Hey Mark, Joanne, Mo…" He looked around, and sighed, "Roger still in his room?"

I nodded and he went in there to talk to him. We continued setting up in silence wondering if Collins could get him to come out. A few minuetes later Collins came out, Roger behind him. He looked very tired, dark circles under his eyes. Little Ella slipped out of Joanne's arms and crawled over to Roger, then raised her arms up, wanting him to hold her. We were silent, not knowing what he would do. To our surprise, he leaned down and picked her up. She looked at him with her big eyes, both of them not saying a word, then she rested her head against his chest and stuck her thumb in her mouth, looking very peaceful.

Joanne smiled, "She normally doesn't let anyone hold her." Roger just shrugged.

Ryan, how like Marueen loved the spotlight, then realized that the attention was no longer on him. He ran over to Mo and asked her, "Party?!"

The party was wonderful, Ryan blew out the candles on his cake that Collins had made him. He loved all his presents, books from Joanne, clothes from Marueen, and a mini toy camera from me. We hadn't expected Roger to get him anything, but he pulled out a little leather bracelet and gave it to him. The whole party, Ella stayed in Rogers arms, and wouldn't let anyone hold her.

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"Bye!" I said to everyone, closing the door. I looked at the clock in the kitchen, it was midnight, it had been good to see everyone again. I went to go clean it up the dirty dishes. Roger was leaning against wall, just looking out the window. I started to clean the dishes, but couldn't stand the silence, "Enjoy the party Roger?"

He nodded, then walked over. "Mimi wanted kids." He said suddenly. I looked up at him, turning off the water, surprised.

"Really?"

He nodded again, "We both did, but it wouldn't been fair to the kid. It would have had two dead parents, and might be sick too."

I had never known he wanted kids. It was good to see he was talking freely. I would have to invite the kids back over more often, even if it was chaotic, Roger was talking.

Then he looked at me straight on, "Have you thought about it Mark?"

I nodded, "I have a little." I said truthfully, "I love spending time with Ryan and Ella. But Maureen never wanted anything like that, or so I had thought. Someday though." I paused, "It think I'd like being a dad."

Roger smiled and was about to head to his room, when we both heard a crash. "What the hell?"

I opened the door but didn't see anything, I went over to the stairs and looked over the rail. Someone had dropped a huge box, it was shadowy, but I could see that much.

I ran down the stairs, "You need help? I-"

I stopped mid sentence, the stranger had turned. I was at a loss for words. She was gorgeous. She had beautiful green eyes and light brown hair, her bangs framing her perfect olive skin face. I couldn't stop staring, but she didn't seem to notice.

"Help would be wonderful, thanks." She had an accent, but I couldn't tell where from exactly.

I grabbed a box and called up, "Roger! Can you come down and help?"

He came down the stairs but stopped when he saw her, the both stared at each other. I sighed, of course, she was the type that would go for Roger.

"Roger can you help with this stuff please?" He didn't answer, he came down the stairs slowly.

"Roger? Roger Davis?" She said eagerly, "Holy ! Rachael Adams?!" They embraced.

I was so confused, "You two know each other?" They both smiled then laughed and nodded.

"Mark this is Rachael Adams, we are old friends." He was smiling, he was actually smiling. It was a new Roger, and it shocked me.

She smiled, "We've known each other since birth. Our mothers were good friends. I can't believe this."

"Tell me about it. How are you? Sounds like you still have your accent after all these years." He said picking up a box, starting up the stairs.

She picked up a smaller box, and followed up after him. I followed after her, making sure to stare at the box instead of her.

"I'm good thanks. Yeah, I just got in from London." Ohh, she's British. "After college last year I decided to go and spend a year back home."

Roger nodded, "What college?"

"NYU." We all reached the landing and dropped the stuff.

"Where are you moving into?" I asked quietly, she looked at a tiny slip of paper then looked up and smiled.

"4B."

Roger laughed, again surprising me. Who had inhabited his body? "That's right across the hall from us."

She shook her head and laughed lightly, "Such a small world."

We finished bringing up her stuff, I just watched her in silence as Roger and her talked about old times. I tried to not look at her, but it was unstoppable. The way she walked, the way her hips subtly swayed side to side, the way she smiled, the way she laughed, she was simply captivating.

"Do you guys know any place around here that has good food, I'm starving?"

We both nodded and said unintentionally in unison, "The Life."

She smiled her sweet smile and grabbed a coat from one of her bags, "You two up for some food?"

Roger and I looked each other, shrugged and nodded, "Sure."

I grabbed my scarf and camera while Roger grabbed his leather jacket. On the way to The Life, they walked more ahead talking, while I stayed behind filming as usual. Occasionally I would turn the camera on her and zoom in on her smile or as she tossed her head back in laughter. She caught me sometimes and I continued panning the camera, pretending I wasn't filming her.

Once we got seated she turned to me and asked, "So Film huh?"

I nodded, smiling shyly, "Yeah. I film pretty much everything. I don't want to miss anything important. What about you? What do you do?"

She set her jacket on the back of her chair, setting her bag on the floor, "I draw and sometimes paint."

Roger nodded, as untidy as always he had just thrown his jacket on the ground next to him. "She did all the posters and art for our band. And in school she won lots of awards. You should see some of her stuff, its really amazing." I didn't doubt it.

She just blushed. Intrigued, I continued, "What sort of things do you draw?"

She glanced up from the menu, "People mostly."

A beeping went off, "Roger, AZT." I reminded him quietly.

She stared at Roger in horror, "No..no, Roger..you didn't?!"

He nodded sadly, swallowing his pills with sip of water. "Why? I thought you weren't into that."

Roger just shook his head, "We'll talk about it later."

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She shut the door behind her with a smile as we entered the loft. I couldn't stop thinking of her. Roger went over to his room as normal, but before entering he stopped and looked at me, "What'd you think of her?"

I didn't really know how to describe what I felt, but I think he knew by my silence and bright red face. He smiled, "I thought so." He entered his room and I went over to sit by the window with my camera. I looked out at the city, holding my camera close, her face still in my mind.

**Rachael's POV**

I shut the door and leaned against it smiling. What a day. Seeing Roger had been so fun, we hadn't seen each other in forever. I unloaded some of some of sketchbooks from my bag. I took an empty and sat by the window. I loved drawing at night, it was calming. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something to draw. My pencil started to draw and I looked down at it with a smile. The only face on my mind was Roger's friend, Mark. I leaned against the window, thinking of how when he wasn't looking, I would glance over at him, thinking of how he would film everything, thinking how despite that fact he was my best friends best friend, I still couldn't stop thinking of him. I sighed and looked out the window up at the stars and moon, then scanning the buildings around me. I looked up at the moon and wished he could be here holding me, hoping someday he would.


	2. Crushing Addiction

Chapter 2: Crushing Addiction

**Rachael's POV**

I knocked on their door, "Roger? Its Rachael, can I come in?"

I heard footsteps then Roger appeared, "Yeah sure Rachael, come on in." He said with a smile.

I walked in, looking around. Their loft was much bigger than mine, and more messy. But it had a nice feel to the place, homey, lived in, mine still looks empty. "Nice place."

He just laughed, "Oh yeah, living in a crap pile, so nice." His tone held sarcasm I wasn't used to, in some ways he was the same old Roger Davis, but part of him had changed too.

I remembered when he was younger his smile was always there on his face, no matter what, he had always been a optimistic guy, but I guess times change.

He held up a box of Captn Crunch and shook it at me, "Have you had breakfast yet?"

I shook my head and he brought me a bowl, and I took a bite, but put my spoon down again, "Roger, this is stale!"

He looked at it, "Really?" He got closer to look at it, "I don't really taste it anymore. Welcome to the bohemian life."

I took another bite, chewing slower this time, "How'd you start living like this?"

He looked down at his cereal again, taking a couple more bites before answering. He knew I didn't really mean how he became broke, but more how his life had been and it was a typical Roger to stall. "It started maybe 3 years ago. I was in my band, the Well Hungarians, and my girlfriend and the band members, all started shooting up after the gigs. At first I refused ya know, we had always said it wasn't going to be like that. One day, though, I cracked, and gave in, which started my addiction. One day I came after practice and I-I saw," I could see how hard this was for him, "She had slit her wrists in the bathroom, and left a note saying, 'We've got AIDS'. Mark helped me get through withdrawal and soon I met Mimi. She-she,you would have gotten along well with her. She changed my life." His eyes grew sadder, his green eyes showing the depths of his pain, "But she died, a year ago."

I put my arms around him, "I'm so sorry."

He hugged me back silently, wiping his eyes of the tears about to fall. "So how long have you known Mark?" I asked trying to remain inconspicuous.

A smile slowly began to creep out, "I met him through Collins, do you remember him? He came my last year of high school."

I nodded, I didn't know him that well and only remembered him vaguely, but I remembered him. Roger looked at me, his smile a little brighter, watching me as I tried to pretend that I didn't want to keep asking more questions about Mark.

"You like him don't you?" He asked with a little laugh. Roger could always tell, he always knew.

"I-well, I mean, we don't." I couldn't put the sentence together, "He's very nice."

Roger looked at me closer, looking into my eyes, he always could tell what I felt. "Continue…."

He was staring at me so attently, I couldn't help but burst out, "I think he's bloody beautiful and amazing!!!"

I realized what I had said as Roger burst out laughing, then covered my mouth with my hand. "Did I actually just say that aloud?"

He nodded still laughing at my random outburst as I blushed like mad. Then I looked around in horror, "He's not here is he?"

Roger shook his head, slightly calmer now. "He's out looking for work, or filming, I cant remember."

Still very red, I grabbed my stuff, "I think I'm going to go get some drawing in before I lose inspiration. I'll see you later."

He followed me over to the door, a big smile now on his face, "You're going to go draw Mark aren't you?"

I turned even redder and didn't answer. I closed to door back into 4b, I could hear him still laughing. He knew me too well. I grabbed the same drawing pad I started using to draw him, and went to go lay on my bed. I had never had an addiction to anything before in my life, no crushing addiction like Roger had told me about. But the desire to see his eyes again was driving me insane. Lost for hours, I drew his face over and over, it never seeming quite as perfect as the real version.

**Mark's POV**

I closed the door taking off my scarf, and setting down my camera. "I'm home!" I expected for Roger to be in his room as usual, but instead he was sitting on the kitchen counter with his guitar, surprising me yet again. If anything, Rachael's appearance had been a blessing for Roger's recovery, he seemed happier. He wasn't back to his old self, but this blast from the past was surely helping.

"Hey Marky….." he said with traces of a smirk on his face.

"What is it?" I asked worried I had something stuck to me or something. I spun around in a circle trying to see if I had anything on my back, before stopping, realizing how stupid I must have just looked.

He laughed lightly, "Ohh nothing. Though Collins called while you were out, he's back in town at the end of the week. Film anything cool today?"

I nodded, still not sure why he had such an evil seeming grin on his face. "A couple pigeons, some hopeless people, a group of punk rocker kids sitting in the park, and…." I didn't really want to finish knowing I would have to tell Roger that every girl I filmed today in some way shape or form reminded me of Rachael. She hadn't left my mind. "That's it."

He just continued strumming his guitar. But I was dying to know and asked him quietly, "Did you see Rachael today?"

He looked up and smiled, "I thought you'd never ask mister Romeo." I blushed profusely as he continued, "Yes she did as a matter of fact. "

"How is she?" I asked, still red.

"Well if you mean, how is she like how she's doing, she's doing good. And if you meant in some weird way, like what she though of you, she thinks you're pretty cool." He said smiling impishly.

"Really?" I asked incredulously. He nodded and then continued playing his guitar.

I slowly sat down on the couch playing with my scarf in my hands. Her piercingly pretty green eyes seemed to stare at me, seducing me. I buried my head in my scarf, trying to get her out of my mind. I felt like she was right there, I could imagine her tucking her hair behind her ears as she does when she gets antsy, I could imagine her walking over to Roger, her walk graceful and then punching him in the shoulder playfully like the old friends they were. I felt doomed to walk the earth alone, her always right there smiling brilliantly.

It was almost torture to dream of her, to dream of her perfection. She was so gorgeous, it seemed unfair that I would have to watch as, inevitably, she would soon be dating someone else, and be happy with him. It was a sad feeling, knowing that I wanted her to still be happy, hoping that if she wasn't with me, that she was with someone who would treat her like the gem that I know she is.


	3. Excited Together

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Disclaimer: same as last time. JL owns rent, I own my characters. BAM

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Chapter 3: Excited Together

**Marks POV  
**

I was wrapping my scarf around my neck when there was a knock on the door, I opened it to see Rachael, right on time. We were all heading to the Life for lunch since Collins was back in town.

"Hey Rachael! You can come in, Roger should be done soon."

"Did he say that?" She asked, checking the clock.

I nodded and she just laughed, "That means he'll be out in a half hour."

And she was right, a half hour later Roger finally came out. During the waiting time, small talk had ensued, and casual gazing. I tried so hard to look at her too much and make her feel uncomfortable.

"Oh hey Rachael!" Roger said grabbing his coat at slow poke speed. She went over and gave him a hug, which although I knew they were just friends still made me feel a tinge of jealousy.

"You know we were supposed to leave a half hour ago?" She said with a smile.

"Really? Oh well, I didn't exactly get my beauty sleep last night." He said, joking around, smiling right back.

This Roger was so different then the cynical one I knew, he was acting more like himself before April, it was a nice change. I hoped it would last.

I grabbed my camera on the way and filmed them as we walked to the Life. The rest of the Bohemians were all waiting when we got there. All except Collins, he was late too, which was a relief to me, we weren't the last ones to get there. I hated being late.

Maureen ran over, her curls bouncing with how fast she was, tackling me in a hug. "Marky!!!"

I swear we hadn't seen in each other in week and she acts like its been forever. "Hi Marueen." I said, hoping my tone of voice would make her get off.

She understood and backed away smiling then saw Rachael and gave her a big hug to her to, which caught Rachael off guard. "Hi I'm Maureen. Who are you?"

Rachael laughed at how excited Maureen was, who was literally jumping up and down at the thought of a new bohemian to join us. "I'm Rachael, I just moved in across from Mark and Roger. I've known Roger since we were kids."

Joanne came over and shook her hand, being as professional as she could with the kids hanging off her. "Hi I'm Joanne. Its nice to meet you Rachael."

"Likewise." She said. Then bend down to Ryan, "Hello kind sir." She said beefing up her accent for effect.

He just stared at her, then Mo whispered into his ear and he replied, bowing, "Hi miss."

She smiled and told Maureen and Joanne, "Your kids are adorable. " Ella was asleep in Joanne's arms.

"Thank you." said Joanne. "You guys ready to go eat?"

"But Collins isn't here yet." I said quietly.

Joanne nodded, "I know he called, he's on his way. He'll be here soon."

We all entered and got our regular table, or tables, connecting them with the tables with other bohemians, leaving a seat for Collins.

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I lifted my camera filming the scene around me, everyone getting a little rowdy, but waiting to start anything till Collins got here. He came in with his finger on his lips, wanting us to be silent. We all saw him, all of us except Rachael. He crept behind her slowly, then as she was taking a sip of water, he put his hands on her shoulder and whispered, "Hey Wetz!"

She jumped, spilling her drink all over then laughed. Getting up to give him a hug she said, "No one has called me that since grade school. How are you Thomas?"

He smiled, "I'm good. You."

"Good. Well except now I'm all wet thanks to you." He smiled, grinning cunningly and sat down in his reserved seat.

Roger looked in deep thought for a moment then said, "Oh my god, Wetz! I completely forgot about that." He laughed really hard.

I panned to Rachael, wanting to catch this random moment on film. She was bright red, "It should stay forgotten."

Maureen asked, playing with Ryan in her arms, "What's the story?"

Rachael glared at Collins before explaining, "One day when I was high school." At this point, she was trying to keep herself from laughing, "I was in art class, and I got too excited and…" She couldn't even finish because she was laughing so hard.

Roger took the liberty, "She peed in her pants." We all broke in what had to be the biggest laugh ever. She was now beet red, her head in her hands, still laughing at herself.

She reminded me of myself a little, I however got excited in other ways.

Maureen stopped laughing suddenly a wide grin on her face then whispered in Joanne's ear. I knew that grin, with Maureen, it normally wasn't a good thing, she was defiantly planning something.

Maureen and Joanne whispered a bit more before Maureen addressed us all, "I have an amazzzinngg plan!" She was obviously excited. "Let all go out dancing next week! There's a new club opening just the street." She pointed at Rachael and me, "Now you two can be excited together!"

I just about died right there, both of us turning bright red. I banged my head on the table, "Oh my gosh Maureen I'm going to kill you."

I couldn't believe she had just said that. I got up to go tickle her or something, which she hated, "Not unless you catch me first!" She said dashing around the restaurant and so began a chase around the restaurant, while everyone just laughed at us, for maybe 5 minutes before I got too tired and sat down, fuming. Maureen rolled her eyes and grinned at me cheekily.

**Rachael's POV**

I watched as Mark chased her around the restaurant, a smile on my face. Was it really that obvious? I thought. Was it really that obvious that I liked him? If all his friends could see it, why couldn't he?

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The last couple days I have been going over to their loft when Mark is out to ask Roger questions. And after some long explanations I was finally starting to understand their family.

"So Mark and Maureen dated, then she left him Joanne?"

Roger nodded, playing his guitar, "What about you, have you been dating anyone?" He asked.

I shook, not wanting to think about it, "I broke it off with my boyfriend before I left for England."

"Didn't want to the long distance thing?" He asked, looking more interested in his guitar.

"No…he wasn't a nice guy. After a terrible 2 year relationship, I couldn't take it anymore." I said softly, hoping I wouldn't have to elaborate.

He looked up at me, his attention on me, asking in a questioning tone, "In what way?"

"He never really treated me like girlfriend more like his pillow."

"Pillow?" He asked confused

"You know when you get really mad you take your pillow and throw it around the room in a fit, punching it and stuff. I was his pillow." I explained quietly, wishing he hadn't asked.

He put his guitar down and looked at me, his eyes wide, "H-he hit you?"

I nodded, trying to keep from crying, I didn't like to think about him. I hopped off the counter, "I'm going to go draw a bit."

I heard him call after me as I ran over to my loft, "Rachael!" I closed the door then went over to my bed. I wrapped my arms around myself, pretending it was Mark holding me, and cried myself to sleep.

**Marks POV **

I closed the door, "I'm back."

Roger was sitting on the counter in deep thought. I set down my camera and walked over to him. He turned to me, his eyes wide and sad, "Mark, if you date Rachael, you have to make me a promise."

"Sure." I asked a little worried at how scared his voices sounded.

"Don't hurt her."

"Of course Rog." I couldn't even imagine hurting her.

Obviously still distressed he went back into his room and shut the door. The happy Roger no longer, the sad Roger was back.


	4. True Artist

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Disclaimer: Jl owns Rent, I own my characters.

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Chapter 4: True Artist

**Marks POV**

It was the night of the stupid dance Maureen had insisted on us going to, and I was scared as shit.

Collins, with a sorry, but also not so sorry look on his face, grabbed his coat and headed to the door, "Sorry man, but I have a class to teach I can't go."

Roger shook his head, he still hadn't gotten himself back out of his sadness funk yet, "If Collins isn't going, neither am I."

"but Roger-" I begged, not ready for a night alone with Rachael, Maureen, and Joanne.

"No!" He walked into his room, shutting the door loudly. I just sighed, not knowing what I really wanted to do anymore.

There was a knock on the door and I opened it, hoping it was Collins saying he had changed his mind. Instead it was the three girls all ready. I couldn't keep my eyes off Rachael. She had done something special with her make up with made her look so..sexy. She was wearing a short black shirt dress and small silver heels.

Maureen giggled at my reaction of pure shock, "We dressed her up a bit, doesn't she look prettyful?"

I gulped, stuttering slightly, "Yes-um-yeah…y-you look-v-very nice." I managed to say, turning bright red.

She smiled, "Thanks. You ready?"

It seemed hard to pull out now, when she looked so amazing it was hard to resist, "Well, Roger and Collins don't really want to come. Maybe you just want to have a girls night or something?"

Maureen shook her held wildly, "No!!!! Then Rachael would have no one to dance with!"

Rachael looked up at me, disappointment shining in her beautiful eyes, and I couldn't say no. "Well, ok then."

She smiled, the twinkle back in her eye. I grabbed my coat and shut the door as Maureen led the way.

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"I though you said it was in town Maureen?" I asked as we entered the busy, dark, stuffy club, extremely tired after walking maybe 30 blocks.

"Well, it is technically, just a bit of a hike." She said, obviously excited to be here.

Joanne gave me a worried look, although they had kids now and their relationship was more serious, I knew she still remembered Maureen's more flighty days. Maureen then pulled Joanne onto the dance floor. Rachael and I looked at each other, I was glad for the darkness so that she couldn't see how much I was blushing. She just looked so beautiful.

"Want to dance?" She asked, seeming hopeful.

"Sure." I said, surprising myself. We both walked tenitively towards the massive crowd of other party goers. "I am warning you though, other than the tango, I cant really dance."

She laughed, "That's fine, just move with the beat. Enjoy the music." She said, trying to speak above the blasting music.

I tried to dance with a generally good space between us, but no matter, with everyone around us always so close, we ended up dancing right next to each other. I tried to ignore the feeling I had when I danced. I felt like I was back in middle school, I felt so awkward. I had never really grown into my body and the way I was supposed to dance with it, the tango exempt in that however. Rachael didn't really seem to mind much. She danced, her hips swaying seductively, and her hair flying everywhere.

After a while, I finally looked up. Many eyes were looking our way, all of them men looking at her, wanting her. All of their eyes reminding me of my inadequacy. I couldn't take it anymore. "I'm gonna get some drinks, I'll be right back." I told her, starting to push threw the people.

"Wait, here I'll come with." She grabbed my hand, through the crowds, trying to keep up with me.

I finally made it to the bar, feeling very gross having touched so many hot people. "Two waters." I said to the bartender, trying to ignore Rachael's glances.

"Its so hot out there." She said with a smile, wiping her forehead.

I nodded, trying to keep my eyes away from her. The more I looked at her the more apparent it became that I could never have her.

"Whats wrong?" She asked, putting her hand lightly on my back, my skin tingling at her touch.

"Look why don't you just go out there and keep dancing." I said, in tone harsher than I had meant.

She looked a tad hurt, "I wouldn't have anyone to dance with."

I sighed, she was being so naïve. "Rachael, just look around. They're all waiting for you to inevitably stop dancing with me, and be free to dance with one of them."

I paid him for the waters and handed her hers.

"Inevitably?" she asked, staring at her water.

"Yes, inevitably. Rachael, the rest of the guys here are much better looking and probably more the sort of guy your looking for. People like you and me…." She looked up, "It never happens."

Just as she replied, the music turned louder, "What?"

She tried again but I still couldn't hear her. She took my hand and led me towards the doors, on the way we say Maureen and Joanne dancing. Rachael said something to them then continued walking. As we closed to the doors the bouncer gave us bracelets se we could come back in.

"Rachael what is it?" I asked, but she didn't say anything, she kept pulling me around the corner. We stopped near an empty alley way and she suddenly put her arms around me. My heart almost stopped. She rested her head on her chest, the smell of her hair making me almost dizzy.

"What do you feel?" She asked quietly.

"I-well, its hard to say-I mean, well." I stuttered, not really able to describe it.

She rested her chin on my chest, looking up at me and repeated, "Mark. What do you feel?"

On a complete and total impulse, feeling completely insane, I pressed my lips to hers. It took me a second to realize what I had done, and started to pull away, but she wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing back. I couldn't believe it, she, we were kissing. She actually wanted to kiss me. I hadn't felt so happy in a long time.

We parted to catch our breaths, a smile on our faces. "So that's what you feel." She said with a giggle.

I nodded, holding her close, "You too?"

She smiled, leaning against me, "Always."

We just stood there holding eachother in a happy silence, my head spinning at what had happened. A breeze suddenly passed through and I felt her shiver against me. I took off my jacket and put it around her.

She smiled, pulling it close, "Thanks."

"No problem. Do you want to go back inside? Its warmer in there." I asked keeping her close.

She shook her head, "Not really. Can we just head back? I don't really feel like dancing anymore."

"Sure." I smiled and rested my arm around her shoulder as we started back to the lofts.

After walking about 20 blocks later, I felt her lean more against me, her eyes lids drooping. "Tired?" I asked.

She nodded, yawning softly, "I haven't danced that much a long time."

"I don't think I've danced that much ever." I said which made her laugh.

She slowly felt heavier and heavier in my arms till I finally saw her eyes shut, Luckily we weren't too far from the lofts. I lifted her carefully and carried her last couple blocks and up the stairs. With a little bit of trouble, I dug her keys out of her purse which hung on her shoulder and opened her door. I set her bag on the ground and slowly laid her on her bed. Even when she was asleep she looked beautiful. I slipped off her heels setting them next to her bed and rested a blanket on top of her. I kissed her gently on the cheek. Wishing, but knowing it would be presumptuous, to fall asleep next to her.

I headed to her door when something caught my eye, on the floor where I had put her bag was an open sketchbook. In it were tons of drawings. They were of _me_. Each drawing was with precision and accuracy. It was scary how real they seemed. She was a true artist. I set them back down, not wanting to be intrusive and headed back to the loft, feeling very pleased about the night.

**Rachael's POV**

I woke up and blinked slowly, looking around confused. I had somehow gotten back home. I felt something warm around me, it was Mark's coat. All the memories came back and I smiled, feeling so excited. He did like me, I felt so glad that we had finally cleared the air. His coat still on, I put on my slippers and went to knock on their door.

Mark opened it, "Morning sleeping beauty." I smiled as he gave me a small kiss and let me in.

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Authors note: due to school chapters might be a little late. I hope you all are enjoying them

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	5. Might Be Love

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Dislaimer: JL owns Rent, I own my characters. same same….

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Chapter 5: Might be Love

**Rachael's POV**

I finished my drawing, lately with so much time around the loft, I had come to realize how much I had missesd Roger. I looked down satisfied with the result, his angsty, sad but happy face stared up at me. I heard a knock on the door, and set down the pad and pencil. Mark was finally home, he had recently gotten a job washing dishes at The Life since nothing else was available. I ran to the door, opened it and gave him huge hug, digging my head into his chest, enjoying the feeling of his arms around me. It was crazy, we hadn't been together for long, but I missed him so much when he was gone., it was like a part of me was missing without him there. I was starting to think it might be love, but it was too soon to really know.

He laughed at my sudden response, "Hey Rach." He whispered, then gave me a kiss on the head.

I smiled and looked up at him, 'How was work?"

He rolled his eyes playfully, "Boring and uneventful as usual. But somehow the thought of coming home made it more bearable."

"I missed you." I said truthfully, wrapping my legs around his.

He smiled, "I missed you too." He leaned in gave me a small kiss.

I kissed him back deeply and was about to put my arms around his neck when I heard someone call my name from behind.

"Rachael!" I turned around, and much to my chagrin, found my Dad staring back at me.

"Dad?!" What the hell was he doing here?

"Surprise!" He said weekly and gave me a hug, which I quickly broke.

"Why are you here?" The disbelief in my voice evident, it seemed unreal that he was here.

"Well, I realized your birthday is next week and I had no idea where to send you a present, so I called your Mum and found out you had come to the East Village. I was quiet shocked-"

I cut him off, "You bothered Mum to find out where I was? Did you at least remember the time change this time?"

He grimaced, "Yes I did. It's been a while since we've talked Rachael, no harm in trying to find my daughter."

I stayed stoic, after all this time, he was trying to be nice now, after all the bollocks before. Mark looked at me uncomfortably. I gave him a look trying to saw 'sorry' without words.

"Sorry, Mark, this is Dad, Dad, this is Mark, my boyfriend." I said, as they shook each others hands warily.

"Nice to meet you." They both said softly.

"Want to go out or something?" Dad asked hopefully.

I gave Mark another 'sorry' look, really the only place to go was the Life, and he had just spent the last 8 hours there.

"Do you mind Captn Crunch?" I asked him, knowing that's all we had in the lofts.

Dad shrugged, "Sure."

Mark gave me a grateful smile as we headed into my loft.

Dad looked around with a look of disgust, "Its…um nice."

I held back any rude retort, "Thanks Dad." I got him a bowl of Catpn Crunch, slightly stale, but it was all I had.

We sat down on my couch, and he ate in silence.

"How have you been latly?" He asked between bites.

"Fine." I said in monotone.

He put down his bowl looking up at me, the anger in his eyes visible, "Don't give me attitude, I came to see how you were, to make sure you hadn't had a lobotomy choosing to live here. But-"

"I don't need to check up on me! You made it clear, many times before that you don't approve of the way I am making my decisions and living my life. Especially after your last choice for me-"

He cut back in, this quickly escalating into one of our usual arguments. "You two seemed good for each other! His parents are nice people, I figured it was the least I could do, set you up with someone who could provide for you-"

My temper was rising quickly, "He was a terrible boyfriend Dad! Those were the worst to years of my life! I was his pillow-"

He seemed shocked by this comment, it was a family term we had always used, and knowing what he meant, he calmed down slightly, "I had no idea he was like that. I just wanted to help out."

I calmed down to, seeing that he was at least making an effort to get the conversation somewhat civilized again, "You didn't help. We have always wanted different things for me, and you have to accept that. This is what I want."

Not still approving of my decision, he walked to the door, then giving me a quick hug, left. Frustrated I grabbed my pillow and threw it against the room, crying.

Mark now understanding about my ex as I hit my pillow repeatedly, came over and slowly out his arms me as I cried into him, "I'm so sorry Rachael, about everything."

I cried harder, staying close, wishing he could make it all better. "Mark…why did he have to come? He changed everything."

"I don't know Rach, I don't know." He led me back to the couch where he sat and let me lay on him.

He wiped my tears and kept me close, running his hands through my hair. "Sorry about that." I said

"Its ok, I hate seeing you cry though." He said sweetly.

I came closer, "God..hes just so..he never thinks about anyone but himself. He probably came to just mock me and tell me again how much he disapproves. He never wanted to me to be an artist, he always told me it was a waste of time and that I should something 'better' with my life. Why cant' he just let go?"

He kissed me gently on the forehead, "I don't know. I don't think they ever do."

He held me tightly, just stroking my hair, both of us silent. I started to feel a little better. He always knew what to do to make me feel better. I snuggled closer to him, listening to his heartbeat.

"Why didn't you tell me your birthday is coming up?" He asked suddenly, catching me off guard.

"I don't know. To tell you the truth I almost forgot about it myself."

He nodded, he seemed a little disappointed, but gave me a kiss that said otherwise.

**------------**

**Mark's POV**

I thought for a moment, "Where were you born?"

Both of us were sitting Indian style on the loft floor against the couch. Since her Dad had come, we both realized we didn't actually much about each other, so today was our designated day (my day off from work) to ask each other any questions we might have.

And we were taking turns asking each other, "I was born here in NY but my mum is and dad are both English. I grew up with Roger in White Plains. What about you?"

"Scarsdale." I said, hesitating before asking, "What happened between your parents?"

She scooted closer and rested her head against my shoulder, putting her hand on mine. "They just grew apart, mostly because of beliefs, Mum is an artist too, and Dad resented that. They got divorced the summer before I left for college."

I turned my hands over so we were holding hands, "Have any siblings?" She asked.

I groaned, "One, she's two years older and much revered by my parents, her name's Cindy. You?"

She shook her head, "Only child. When's your birthday?"

"January 21st. What do you want for your birthday?"

She looked up and smiled sheepishly, "Just you."

She was so, there wasn't a word to describe how I felt for her, I think it might be love. I tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear then gave her a kiss, which she deepened, falling back on the ground, me on top of her. I used my arms to keep myself up a little so that I wasn't putting all my weight on her, I didn't weigh much, but I still want to crush her. But as she pulled me closer and ran her hands through my hair, my hands went around her instead. My heart was beating extremely fast, she always made me so happy, my body always unprepared for her charm. We rolled over, my hands going beneath her shirt. I suddenly heard someone clear their throats from behind us.

We both broke apart to see Roger smirking down at us. He didn't say anything, instead he just laughed. It was amazing to see the change in him, whenever Rachael was around, he was a different person. He just continued walking past us and picked up his guitar and started to play with it. Now that Rachael was here, my whole life seemed a lot better.


	6. Dream Without Hesitation

Disclaimer: same as always

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Chapter 6: Dream Without Hesistation

**Mark's POV**

I smiled, Rachael had her arms around me, begging me to stay, "I'm sorry Rach, but I have to get to work, we _do_ have bills to pay."

She nodded, her body pressed against mine, with her hands still not letting me go, "I know, but can't you just skip work and stay home with me."

She looked up at me, pouting and batting her eyelashes. The fact that she was also in a tight fitting, but loosely wrapped, robe made it hard to resist.

But I was adamant in my decision, "I might be able to cut out a little early, maybe. Just for you."

She smiled, "Fine." Her arms now resting on my waist but not as protectively.

I gave her a kiss, my arms around her, the taste made me want to head back into her loft and make love to her.

But I pulled away and left for the Life, "Bye."

"Bye!!"

I hung my messenger bag over my shoulder, breathing quickly as the cool breeze passed by. I thought about her longing face as we parted every morning. It was so hard to leave her there when I was out washing fucking dishes. I knew it was worth it though. I wanted to buy her something once I had enough money, I didn't know what, but something to show her I cared. I know it will be worth it in the end, to her smile, as long as I get her the right gift. I frowned in thought, opening to the door to The Life.

**Rachael's POV**

I shut the door, feeling the smile quickly fall off my face. He made me feel so happy, without him it was pure torture. I wanted to have him next to me, holding me, kissing me.

I was about to make myself breakfast when the phone rang.

"Hi you've reached Rachael, please leave a message after the beep!"

Because of costs, I was screening my calls. I also didn't exactly want to speak to my dad, our regular silence had ensued since his visit.

"Hey Rach, Its Joanne." I heard another voice add, "and Maureen!" Joanne took back over, "We were wondering if you wouldn't mind babysitting for us-"

I ran over to the phone and picked up, "I would love to!!!"

It would give me something to do till Mark got back, and they were adorable kids. It was perfect.

"Really?" Joanne asked sounding extremely relieved.

"Of course. Its no problem, you can drop them off and pick them off whenever." I said.

I was excited for a chance to play mom for a bit. It was a role, I had envisioned myself being a mom since I was little, and it was always fun to pretend even if for just a couple hours.

"Thanks, we'll bring them over in about an hour or so. Thanks again Rachael!!" Joanne said, and in the background I could hear her rushing the kids out the door.

"No problem, see you soon!" I said, hanging up the phone.

With a new bounce in my step, I tried to prepare of a night of kid fun. I realized after I was all ready, and in a more comfy outfit, that Roger was probably alone in the loft. I went over and knocked on his door. At first there wasn't an answer, so I knocked harder, scared suddenly. What if something had happened to him? What if he had left without telling anyone then got mugged or something else terrible had happened to him? I pounded on the door, when he finally opened.

"Hey Rachael." He said nonchalantly, as if nothing was wrong.

I gave him a huge hug, then hit him lightly on his arm. He feigned pain, nursing his now 'broken arm'. "What was that for?"

"For scaring me shitless! That's why! Its better to come on first knock." I scolded, arms crossed around my chest.

He smiled, "Sorry Rach. What ya up to?"

"Joanne and Maureen asked me to babysit, I was wondering if you wanted to help me, I didn't know if you were gonna be alone in the loft, sooo yeah." I said, rambling slightly.

He shrugged, "I surely have nothing to do, sure. Can I bring my guitar?"

I nodded, he ran to grab it, then walked back with me to my loft.

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Joanne and Marueen arrived not to long after, the kids in their arms.

"But Mommy's, I don't want you to go!!!" Ryan begged them as they tried to leave.

Marueen smiled, "We know Ry, but we'll be back soon. And I'm sure Rachael and Roger will be awesome babysitters."

Joanne nodded, handing the already sleepy Ella to Roger. Once in his arms the little girl seemed at ease, and rested against his chest. I watched a small envy as she stayed there content. Marueen handed Ryan to me, and before he could protest anymore they were gone. He looked up me, his big brown eyes sad.

"I want my mommy's." He cried. I picked him up and let him fly into the loft like a plane. He giggled, the frown now replaced with a wide-open grin. He laughed as he 'flew' around a bit until I put him down.

"Again, again!" He asked, his eyes bright, reminding me of Marueens.

I smiled, "Later, don't worry Ryan. Don't want to get worn out to quickly."

Roger, shutting the door, chuckled softly. We had babysat before, in high school. His eyes were glazed over, probably with memory. He sat down on the couch, letting Ella rest on him, her sweet blue eyes already beginning to close.

Ryan had a puzzled look on his face for a moment, then pointed to my sketchbooks, which I had piled in a corner.

"What are those?" He asked, taking one.

He flipped it open to see drawings of Mark, I took them from his hand and shook my head.

"They're umm…private." Later on in that sketchbook I had let my imagination go into play, I blushed at the thought of his innocent eyes seeing them. "But I can draw you if you like?"

He nodded fervently. I smiled and slowly set him in a seat with good light.

"Now you must stay very still. It shouldn't take very long. Try not to move, here I'll make it a contest. If you can hold it the whole time, you get a prize."

He smiled a silent response, signaling me to start. I took in his face first. He had a heart shaped face, like Marueen's, his eyes a deep chocolate brown. His eyes held depth, a depth only in a child, I could see his imagination, his dreams. A childs wishes had no limits, they only dreamed of the stars. I also accounted for his small almost elf-like ears, which enhanced his youth, but then his straight nose and thin lips spoke of a calm in him, a contradicting sense of age in features. I let it all seep through me, as I drew him. 20 minutes later, I was done, and he hadn't moved a bit.

"You did great Ryan!" I got up and went over to my closet.

He hopped of the chair and shook his body, acting like an activity deprived dog. I pulled out my last bar of Cadbury's chocolate and handed it to him. When he saw that it was chocolate, he jumped up ecstatically. Roger laughed watching as Ryan danced around the room, the chocolate in hand. I sat down next to Roger, laughing along.

"Why did you gave him your last chocolate?" He asked

"Because he won it." I said.

His brow furrowed, "But it was your last, I thought you loved Cadburys."

"I do, but he earned it. That's what you do for kids, I can get chocolate any other day." I said, sticking by my beliefs, even though I was wanting the chocolate desperately as Ryan ate it messily.

Roger looked down at sleeping Ella, "You have always loved kids haven't you? Want your own someday?"

I nodded, "Someday, I don't when it would be. I've always wanted to be a mum."

"With Mark?" He asked, catching me by surprise.

"I-I don't know. If, we, if things were like that- if our relationship got there…" I paused. I'll admit I had thought about it briefly. I would love it, but what if he didn't feel the same? That thought made me feel suddenly silly for even dreaming. If only I could be like Ryan, free to dream without hesitation. I continued with a clearer sense of mind. "If Mark and I get to that point, it'd be lovely."

He nodded with knowing smiled. I could sense he wasn't telling me something. I waited but he just stayed silent.

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After some more playing, and some dinner, Ryan was finally falling asleep, his head in my lap. I stroked his hair, yawning myself. I hadn't babysat in a while, truthfully, I felt worn out. Ella was also laying on me, Roger playing his guitar. I smiled, with them laying here with me, I felt so happy. You never realized how happy children make you, until you're with them. I felt my eyes slowly shut, a smile on my face as the dream of Mark and I played in my head.

Mark's POV

I slipped the bracelet in my pocket. Finally, with today's earnings I could finally get her something. I just hoped she would like it. What if she didn't? What if she hated it or thought it was too much? I shook my head, trying to block the doubts pressing into me. I knocked on her loft door. When she opens, just smile, and ignore the thoughts in your head. I was prepared, but then Roger opened the door.

"Hey Roger." I said surprised

He put his finger to hips lips, and silently let me in. The place looked like a mess, and right in the middle of it all, she was asleep on the couch. She looked serene and peaceful, a smile on his face.

"What happened?" I whispered.

"She babysat for Mo and Jo." He whispered back, then grabbing his guitar and headed towards the door. Before he left he turned back around, "Mark?"

"Yeah Rog?" I asked quietly.

"You know how you told me you wanted kids?" He asked, and I nodded. "You should have seen her eyes when she was playing with Ryan. And…I think she's too scared to admit it, but….she wants it to. With you."

He shut the door softly behind as he left me in complete shock. My head still spinning from just the thoughts of raising a family with someone as amazing as her. I went over to the couch and lifted her into my arms. It seems she had decided to take a nap. Wrapping her arms around my neck for support, I carried her over to her bed. I layed her down, giving her a small kiss. I pulled up to leave, but her arms hadn't seemed to let go. I tried again, but she wouldn't let go. I blushed, with no other choice, and climbed into bed next to her. Her arms were still around me, as I found myself nodd off to sleep in the tight embrace. An image of us together, and little Marks and Rachaels, was in my mind as I dreamed of a potential future.


	7. Thank You

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Disclaimer: same as always. Jon owns Rent, I own my characters.

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Chapter 7: Thank You

**Mark's POV**

I put my hands over her eyes, as I led her into the Life café, we were giving her a surprise birthday celebration. She was giggling happily as she stumbled around.

"Mark, can I open my eyes now, please?" She begged.

I smiled, "Not yet, one more minuete."

Everyone finished getting in place. "Ok, open." I said taking my hands away.

She looked around confused at the seemingly empty restaurant. "What-"

Everyone jumped out, shocking her. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!"

She smiled and laughed, "I can't believe it."

We all sat down, ready to start the party. I turned my camera on and filmed her as she walked over to her designated seat. She was wearing these lovely jeans that fit her very nicely, and this simple blue blouse with a low scoop neck, I couldn't help but stare at her. She looked so amazing, and she didn't even seem to try.

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Rachael stared at all the presents in front of her, "You all got me presents?"

We all nodded. How could we not get her anything? It _was_ her birthday. They wouldn't be extravagant, all the presents were probably crappy little knick-knacks purchased in St. Marks Bazaar, but hey, it's the thought that counts. She smiled, looking extremely grateful and started to open them. As predicted, they weren't anything huge, but she treated them as though they were all the most precious and brilliant gifts ever. She was such a sweetheart, thanking everyone dearly.

She finally got to the smallest, and last present, mine. I hope she liked it. She carefully unwrapped it, when she saw the bracelet, her eyes widened.

"Oh my-" Tears sparkled in her eyes.

It was a small silver charm bracelet and on it were some hanging charms. One said NY, another UK, a third was a pencil, and the fourth one was a small heart.

Her face wet, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug. "Mark, its beautiful."

"You like it?" I asked, so glad I hadn't screwed up.

Her eyes were shining, "I do, thank you so much."

I leaned foreword and gave her a small kiss, a bit hesitantly because we were infront of everyone. Letting us have our own little moment, everyone went back to the drinking and singing, ignoring us.

I gulped. Could I say it now? Surely with a red nervous face, I whispered in her ear, "I love you."

Our foreheads came together, and with a slightly shaky hand, she reached up and cupped my chin, "I love you too Mark."

We kissed again, but much more passionately this time. It received several catcalls form those around us. We broke apart, both red.

Roger took and sip of his beer then said, "I don't think I want to be at home tonight." We both turned redder.

Collins put a hand on Roger's shoulder, "Well lucky for you, you don't have to be. I have some people that want to meet you, and you might as well just stay over after."

Roger smiled gratefully, "Thanks Collins. But what sort of people?"

Collins just smiled brightly, "You'll see."

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I put my arms around her as we walked back up to the lofts, "Have fun?"

She smiled, "I had a wonderful time, thank you so much for everything."

"No problem." Giving her a small little kiss, "You looked stunning."

She blushed as she looked down at her shoes bashfully, "Thanks. My mum sent the shirt from England, I thought you would like it."

"I did." I opened the door, "Wanna come in?"

She nodded, holding my hand, and followed me in. As soon as the door had shut, she pressed her lips to mine. I smiled, it had been so nice to tell her how I felt. I loved her so much, we had this connection, I hadn't ever felt with any other girl before. She was special.

I deepened the kiss, pulling off our coats. My arms then went around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Her legs went around mine.

We parted to breathe and she said softly, "I love you", before kissing me again.

My hands traveled beneath her shirt, I was so glad Roger wasn't here. That wouldn't have been awkward at all. "I love you too."

She fell against the couch, giggling as she unbuttoned her blouse. God, she was so beautiful I wanted her so badly. Whenever Maureen and I had done things like this, I had always felt weak and silly compared to her but with Rachael I felt like her equal. I kissed her again as I moved on top of her. Her hands played with the bottom of my shirt, gradually taking it off. This could be…we should probably move. If this was going to our first time, I wanted it to be special, as trite as that was. A couch wasn't exactly how I'd imagined it. I pulled away and she gave a confused look. But as I took her to my room, she blushed, hopefully understanding. We finished undressing between kisses, then made love till the sun came up.

**Rachael's POV **

I woke up, his arms still around me. I smiled, the sun was pouring through the windows. I turned and layed sideways on his bed, resting on my arm. He looked so adorable without his glasses on. His blond hair was messed up, sticking all over the place, it was a rather funny thing to see. His pale skin, how it felt on mine, his touch could make me do anything. I loved everything about him. I ran my hands through his hair and gave him a kiss on the forehead before slowly getting out of bed. I pulled on his shirt and my knickers, then walked into the kitchen. I was getting a cup of coffee when Roger opened the door. He smirked at my choice of clothing. He had some papers in his hand and dark circles under his eyes.

"Who were the people Collins wanted you to meet?" I asked as I got him a cup of coffee as well, he looked as though he needed it.

He sat down with a sigh, "Members of band that need a lead singer and guitarist."

I smiled, not really understanding. He was perfect for the job. The Roger I knew would be loving the challenge and daring to go after the position. "Why the sigh?"

"I just, its so hard, I haven't been in a band s-since April. There are so many memories attached to that lifestyle. I'm not really sure what I want." He said, staring down at the pages.

"What did you do all night? You look knackered." I asked, handing him the steaming cup.

"They wanted me to rehearse with them." He motioned to the papers, "These are there songs, most of them are really good. It was nice to practice with them, but I still need some time to think." He took a sip, then pulled away after burning his tongue. "I don't really to ask what you did last night." He said sarcastically, grinning cheekily.

I blushed and smiled, grabbing the Village Voice as a distraction from his smirk.

I flipped through it casually not really taking to much time to look at everything carefully when I suddenly saw an ad that popped out at me. This was unbelievable. Underneath the dates for Maureen's next show was an advertisement looking for artists at a new Art Academy. I grabbed the phone excitedly, and dialed the number.

Ring Ring "Hello?"

"Hi, is this the Art Academy? I saw the ad in the paper and I was wondering if the position was still available." I said eagerly.

Roger gave me a funny look, "You'll see." I whispered to him.

"Yes, we still have some jobs open, what type of art do you do?" the woman asked, her New York accented by the sound of her bubble gum snapping.

"I draw, and sometimes paint." There was a pause.

"Yes yes, I believe the address is on the ad, come on by later today, bring some of your work. Your name?"

I couldn't believe it, "Rachael Adams."

"Thanks for the call, we'll see you later."

I hung up, and did a little dance around the kitchen. Roger laughed, plucking along at his guitar, I looked up and saw Mark. He was wearing his boxers and a white t-shirt, he looked so cute, he was yawning, then seeing me dancing, his eyes widened.

"Why are you dancing?" He asked, coming behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

I smiled, leaning into him, "I might get a job teaching at an Art school." I told him about the phone conversation.

He kissed my neck lovingly, "That's great. I'll admit, the thought of no longer working at the Life…" He sighed. His eyes suddenly lit up like he had an idea, I could almost imagine the light bulb above his bright blond hair.

He ran and got his camera, "The thought is so amazing, I need to document this, do the little dance again."

I giggled at how excited he was and did a little mini version of my 'just-got-a-job" dance then blew a kiss at the camera.

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I was holding Mark's hand, my portfolio under my other arm, and stood outside the building. It was funky little place, vintage seeming, and very pleasant. I had worn my most professional seeming outfit, a black dress with grey tights and black boots, my makeup limited, my hair tied back. I took a deep breathe as Mark held open the door for me, then walked in. There was some amazing art up on the wall, some traditional, some New York style, some with no category, but all something unique. I hope I have what it takes.

A small woman with short bleach blond hair came over, "Rachael Adams?"

I nodded, "Great, come this way." She led me over to a small table, a pad a pencil on top.

"Did you bring anything?" She asked.

I nodded handing her my portfolio. She looked through it, her smile getting gradually larger.

"Wonderful. Would you mind doing something right now as well?" She asked, indicating towards the table.

"No problem." I said, sitting down. She put a hand on Mark's shoulder and set him down on a seat in front of the desk. He tried to protest, not understanding, but she spoke before he could stop stuttering.

"Draw him please." She said, then stepping back to watch.

I started immediately, letting the pencil flow under my grip. I took in all his features, his hair shiny, his black-rimmed glasses offsetting his ocean blue eyes, his pale skin, the way it felt as it touched mine. I let all of my memory flood into it, taking in the moment and connecting it to all I knew. Before I knew it, she was tapping my shoulder, a half hour had flown by.

"May I see it?" She asked.

I nodded and handed it to her, blinking as I tried to adjust back to reality.

She looked at it, her eyes focused, her eyes occasionally glancing back at Mark who was shaking himself out, I don't think he'd ever sat for someone before.

"An amazing likeness in your drawing, your drawing technique is flawless, yet with your own style." She murmured, appearing to be thinking out loud. She touched the drawing lightly, "Lovers obviously." I blushed, unsure of how she could see so much in just a simple drawing.

"Well Rachael, we would love to have you. Can you start tomorrow?" She asked.

It was that simple? "That would be wonderful, thank you." She smiled back, handing me some sheets of information. Apparently I was teaching an advanced class, my heart leapt, I had dreamed of something like this. College was useful after all.


	8. Compromise

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Disclaimer: same as always my friends. Jon owns Rent, I own my characters kapesh?

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AN: R&R appreciated.

Enjoy 

Chapter 8:

**Rachael's POV**

I opened the doors to the Art Academy, butterflies in my stomach. My first day, teaching. I would have never guessed I'd be doing this. I was excited but so nervous.

The same blond from yesterday came over to me with a smile, "Hi!"

"HI, do you know which room I teach in?" I asked a bit embarrassed.

She nodded, not fazed by my question, "No problem." She led my along a corridor that led to an alley which had many doors to another building. She stopped infront of a fringed dirty red door that said, rm. 103. "My name's Giselle, glad you could join us Rachael."

I shook her hand, "Thanks." I opened the door, unsure of what to expect. I was surprised to see it was set up like an sort of like an actual art classroom, there were about a dozen easels with old barstools behind them. A small old metal cabinet was against the back wall, I presumed it held all the materials.

I sighed with relief to see the room was empty. I wasn't late, I hated being late it was a pet peeve of mine.

I placed my bag near the front easel and got out the class information packet and her own materials.

Today was apparently just introduction day, seemed pretty easy.

As I put my materials back into my bag I heard the door open. I turned around to see tall man with black hair, it hung limply above his bright green eyes. The effect was rather haunting.

"Are you Rachael Adams?" He asked stepping into the room catiously.

I nodded, I looked down at the roster Giselle had given me, trying to guess who he was. Ryan Nelson, Peter Reiser, and Steven Fairbanks were the only men enrolled, before I could choose he said softly, "Hi, I'm Steven…I guess I'm your student."

"Welcome Steven." I replied as he took a seat. Over the next five minutes or so, the rest of the students slowly wandered in. Once all the seats were filled up, I stood , my legs shaking slightly.

"Hi everyone, my name's Rachael I'm your teacher. Just to get to know everyone, how about we go around the room, say your name, why you started drawing, and umm..your favorite food." I said, "Steven you can start first."

He seemed surprised at how relaxed the situation and smiled, he was dressed in nice pants and a black shirt, "I'm Steven, well I started drawing when I first went to my brother's art exhibit, and saw the work on the walls, he was much older at the time, and all the work was just really enchanting. My favorite food is, umm…those salt and pepper chips you can get down on St. Marks."

The blonde girl behind him started quietly, she tucked a piece of her curly locks behind her ear nervously, "I'm Stella, I started drawing when my mother showed me some her artwork, back then I wanted to be just like her. My favorite food is ice cream."

A bloke with brown wavy hair spoke next, his voice deep and suave as if he wanted to earn early brownie points, "I'm Ryan, I started to draw when I saw maybe 5 and I saw this bird, and I guess it just seemed interesting to me and it started a liking for the art, my favorite food is burgers."

A redhead with clear green eyes waved to everyone, she was wearing flowy clothes and multitude of bangles on each arm, "Hello, my name's Dani, I first started drawing, well. You know when you get really bored and you doodle on the side of the page? I just kept doodling and my teacher saw and recommended I go further with it. My favorite food is the miso soup down at the Life."

The next one had golden hair that reminded a bit of Roger's but shorter with brown eyes, he said very very quietly, "My names Peter, I started drawing when my dad got sick so I would have something to remember him by, and my favorite food is chocolate." He was very calm and quiet and didn't really smile.

The last student was a girl who shoulder length black hair that was half up, her blue eyes behind glasses, "My names Melanie and I started drawing when my mom signed me up for an art class when I was young and it was something that helped me relax. Uhh, my favorite food is salad."

I smiled at my class, they were all so unique, I couldn't wait to see what their technique was. "Thank you. I guess I should do the same, again I'm Rachael and my mum is an artist so she let me try all the arts and I found a really personal connection with drawing. My favorite food would have to be fish and chips."

I looked at the clock, we had about 15 minuetes left, it had gone by so fast. "Well, we have about 15 minutes left, all I really had planned was to meet everyone today. Does anyone have any questions?"

Stella slowly raised her hand, "Where are you from?"

I smiled, "Well, I grew up in Scarsdale but I'm British."

Now that the first question had been asked, they seemed more confident to raise their hands.

Steven, his face curious, asked, "Can you do a drawing for us?"

I hadn't been expecting that. They seemed to all lean in unconsciously, eager to see my work.

"Sure." I got out my pencils, and let it connect with paper. As a couple moments went by, Giselle's face started to peer out at me. Lost in memory of her features and what I knew of her. Finally finished, I put my pencil down and looked up at the clock, class was over, it had gone by all so quickly. I stepped aside so they could see, they gazed at it with glances of emotions I couldn't discern, longing, admiration, disgust, I couldn't tell.

"Umm, class is over, I'll see you all in two days from now."

-------------

Mark opened his door, "How was it?" He asked, his camera on me.

I smiled at the lens, "It was wonderful. It's a nice small class, I think it's going to be great."

He turned it off, setting it aside then pulled me close, his arms going around my waist. I had missed his touch, even if it had only been an hour or two.

"I missed you." I whispered in his ear.

I heard Roger 'gag' behind us, I glared at him as Mark blushed, "I missed you too."

I smiled at Roger, oh he had forgotten who he was dealing with. I pulled Mark into a obnoxiously passionate kiss staying right in front of him.

He pretended to puke into his guitar. I put my arms around his neck and would have continued our kiss if there hadn't been for a sudden voice filling the loft.

"SPEAAAAAKKK!"

"Mark, this is your mother! You will just _never _guess what happened, Cindy's here! She came down for the weekend. What a surprise for us! We hoped perhaps you might be able to come on down for a visit too. It's been such a long time since we've seen you honey. We invited Nanette over too incase you haven't found a lady friend by now," Mark's face turned beet red. "If you have just bring her along too, it's been so long since you brought anyone over." There were voices in the background, and then a man's voice came on. "Yeah, the last one was Maureen wasn't it? In any case it's been too long since you've been laid Mark-" He closed his eyes, as if he was trying to convince himself that this wasn't happening. Mark's mom cut his dad off, "Dan, really! Sorry about that honey. Well if can come down we'd love to see you. Love mom!!"

We were silent as the final beep faded out.

"Who's Nanette?" I asked softly.

"An ex from a long time ago, I learned the tango with her." He said softly.

Roger looked down and didn't say anything, the message had made things very awkward.

Although the message was odd, I wanted to meet his parents. Not for the purpose to becoming friendly, I had gotten the feeling Mark resented them very much. More that, I really felt this relationship might last, and then I would have to meet them eventually.

"Do you want to go?" I asked hopefully

His eyes widened as if I was crazy, "You can't be serious?"

"What. Why not?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Rach, my parents and I we don't get along-" He reached out to me, his eyes pleading as he tried to change my mind.

I pulled away, "You met my dad. How is it any different?" I asked, confused.

He straightened his glasses, his little nervous habit. "If your dad had called you and asked for you to come see him, you would be doing the same that I am."

"But Mark- you know what no. Whatever, I can't force you." I said, shutting the door behind me as I went back to my loft.

I picked up my phone and dialed a number I had memorized.

"Hello?"

I smiled, I had missed her voice, "Hi Mum…."

**Mark's POV**

I stared at the door she had just left from. "Roger what just happened?" My head and my heart were both colliding about what had just happened.

He sighed, frowned, and shrugged his shoulders all at the same time, being indecisive as usual, "Am I the only one who can read her like I book."

"Well you have known her for longer Roger."

He set down his guitar and looked up at me, "She just wants to meet them, for her own reasons despite all you've said against them. Maybe you should give her that chance."

I bit my lip, feeling foolish now. "Ok. I'll be back."

I knocked on her door, Rachael opened with a phone in her hand.

"Oh sorry, am I interrupting?" I asked pointing to the phone.

She shook her head smiling faintly, "Its ok, Just finished talking to my mum."

She pulled the door open a little more. I gulped as I stepped in. "How is she?"

"She's good thanks."

Before she could say anything I spoke softly, "Rachael, we can go if you want to."

Her smile brightened, "Really?"

"Really."

It was surprising how good it felt to see her smile, even when I was giving up something. I guess there's beauty in the compromise.

I brought close. I kissed her on the forehead. "We can head out tomorrow."

Her smile turned mischievous, "Wanna help me pack?" She said, unbuttoning the first couple buttons on her shirt, enough buttons to see a hint of her cleavage.

I blushed madly, "Gladly."


	9. Girl Like You

Chapter 9: Girl Like You

**Marks POV**

As we approached my old house I laced my fingers with Rachael's, my hands clammy. Memories flooded me: walking back after my first dance, coming home after getting drunk my first time with Collins before he had moved to White Plains, after I had sent in my college applications, all the memories I had tried to escape were hitting me with such force. I didn't want to be here, but there was a look of excitement on Rachael's face, I didn't understand it, but I had to do this for her.

She came closer, holding my tight, "You look like you've seen a ghost Mark."

I gulped, "I'll be fine."

I reached out and knocked on the door. Rachael was going back and forth on her feet, even with a bright smile on her face, I could tell she was a little nervous too.

I heard footsteps and my mother's voice could be heard, "I wonder who it is at this time of night. Probably one of the neighbors next door, crazy people if you ask-"

The door opened and Mom stood shocked, "You came!!" She gave me a huge hug, holding me so tightly that I had trouble breathing.

"H-hi M-mom. C-could you l-let go?" I wheezed. Rachael looked as though she was trying not to giggle. I glared as Mom finally let go.

She pulled away, her hands on my shoulders, "Sorry Mark. Ohh I just _knew _you would come. Its been so long. We missed you." Her eyes were glittering with happiness, a feeling I couldn't reciprocate.

She saw Rachael beside me and smiled knowingly, "You must be Marky's little girlfriend." I blushed about ten different shades red as she said 'little girlfriend."

"Mother…"I moaned.

Rachael giggled at us, "Yes, I'm Rachael. Nice to meet you Mrs. Cohen."

Mom's eyes widened when she heard her accent, "You can call me Lisa. We're so glad you could come." She opened the door for us.

The carpet was still the same disgusting color of red, with the stain in the corner where Cindy had thrown up once trying to sneak in drunk. Most of the same photos were up on the wall, some had been put of Cindy's wedding and her baby boy. I looked at the living room, which resulted in only chills. I could still remember the day I told them I was dropping out of Brown after only one year. Rachael seemed to sense my discomfort and took my hand in hers, sending me her heart warming smile. Having her was helping keep the demons at bay, she had something calming about her.

Mom called into the kitchen, "Everyone, Mark is here!!!!" Dad came out first, followed by Cindy and her husband who was holding their baby boy Evan.

"Mark, its good to see you son." Dad said, his deep voice still condescending after all these years.

"Hey Dad." I said quietly.

Cindy frowned when she saw Rachael, "I guess it's a good thing Nanette couldn't make it."

Rachael squeezed my hand tightly, "Hello, I'm Rachael."

Dad shook her hand, as did David, Cindy's husband. I saw him give her a little look down, causing me to stare angrily at him and pull closer to her.

Mom clasped her hands together, not noticing the tension, "Dinner?"

Cindy walked next to Rachael as sat down at the dining room table, "How long have you been dating?"

Rachael turned a little pink and smiled, "A little over a month now."

Cindy nodded, a frown still plastered to her face. She a piece of her bright blond hair behind her eyes before whispering, her eyes dancing mischievously, "Remind me to show his baby pictures later."

Rachael giggled as I stared down at my plate, this was going to a long night.

----------

True to her word she pulled out the photo albums after dinner.

"Cindy no!!!!" I begged.

She just continued to open them, "Mark, just deal with it. It's my job to embarrass you, remember?"

I crossed my arms, sitting down next to Rachael on the couch as they laughed at my pictures. Rachael scooted closer to me and whispered, "Its ok love, I promise to only look at a couple."

I sighed and nodded. She was more understanding than I was sometimes, something I really appreciated about her.

-----------

**Rachael's POV**

I could tell how unhappy he was being here. Had I been selfish in coming here? I looked over at him, his eyes were glazed over with boredom. When we had walked in, he had looked around with such hatred. I wondered why he was so upset with them, they hadn't been cruel to me one bit. I could see some tension between his father and him though.

I stared at the picture on the wall, it was of Mark when he was a young boy at the park, holding his camera proudly, his blond hair spiked, and his beautiful blue eyes sparkling. I smiled, and touched the picture softly. I felt his arms wrap around me from behind. He kissed my neck softly before whispering, "Whatcha looking at?"

The feeling of his arms around my waist made my skin tingle and I smiled, "This picture of you. You were such a cute little boy." I turned around in his arms and whispered, "This is why I wanted to come, I just wanted to see where you get your blond hair, your eyes, and where you grew up. I only wanted to know more about you." I hope he understood. I looked into his eyes.

He put his forehead to mine and said with a tiny smile, "Okay."

As his Mom approached, he pulled away and stood nearly half a meter away from me. She didn't seem to mind though, "Now, Mark, you'll stay in your room and Rachael can be in the guest room, is that alright dear?"

I nodded as Mark blushed slightly. His mom either really didn't trust him or didn't know anything about him.

------------

I looked at the clock: 1:00 am. I turned my pillow over to the cold side. I couldn't get to sleep. I've adjusted my pillow so many times but nothing was working. I carefully pulled off the covers and got out of bed. I shut the door as quietly as I could, my footsteps light. I opened what I assumed was Mark's door, he was lying on his bed and looking at some his old things. His room was a cream color, with the same color carpet. The room was very tidy, his childlike blue covers still made up on the bed. He looked over in surprise, "Hey…"

"I couldn't sleep." I said quietly.

"Me neither." He said, but I had a feeling he had a different reason. I laid down next to him and snuggled close to him. I immediately felt better, my heart now calm.

"I'm so used to falling asleep next to you." I whispered as he pulled the covers over us, "I needed to have you here." I laid my head on his chest, hearing his heart beat, as a tiny yawn escaping me.

He gave me a small kiss on the forehead, his eyelids falling too. "I love you." He said

"I love you too." I said before letting sleep finally take over.

-------------------

Sunlight poured in through the nearest window. I rubbed my eyes adjusting the sudden bright light. Mark's small blue digital clock read 8:00 am. I gave him a small tiny kiss on the cheek before getting out of his bed. It was probably best that his parents didn't find me in here. I went back to the guest room to mess up the bed abit before brushing my teeth in the nearest bathroom. Cindy came in, her toiletries in hand.

"You two sure are quiet." She said smirking.

"Pardon?" I asked, not sure I understood.

She gave me a look down, her eyes full of scrutiny. "You surely didn't stay in your room last night."

"I couldn't sleep," I explained, my voice quiet, "I wouldn't do that in your parents house."

She rolled her eyes, "Sure." She turned to me, her hands on her hips, "Look Rachael, as Mark's sister, its my job to tell you the truth. You two aren't good for each other."

I stepped back, shocked and offended. When was it decided that it was her place to tell _me _what to do?

"A girl like you," She shook her head, almost as though she was trying not to laugh, "You're surely going to distract him. The more of a distraction the more he's going to forget what he wants in life. Which isn't you. He has always wanted to be a filmmaker and he's never gonna get there if he's worried about you getting knocked up. If I were you, I'd just go back to England before he gets hurt."

My heart was beating so fast I almost couldn't feel it, I ran back to the guest room, tears falling fast. How dare she? She was wrong, he films all the time. I'm not hurting him. As much as I assured myself she was wrong I couldn't help but feel a flicker of doubt. A gulped, I couldn't let myself dwell on it though. I would prove her wrong, I had to.

------------

Collins gave me one of his legendary bear hugs, "Hey Rach. How are you?"

He had just gotten back from another teacher conference upstate. It was really good to see him, we hadn't seen him for a week or so.

"I'm ok. How was your conference?" I asked, as I set his bag in his room.

"It was ok, kinda boring though as usual." He said with a chuckle, his deep voice resonating around the loft. "I hear you two visited the Cohen's that must've been interesting."

I nodded, and went into the kitchen to get something to drink to avoid anymore thought about last weekend.

"Ok you have to tell me more than that." He said, following me. "Was it that bad?"

Cindy's words were still in my head, ringing over and over, "His parents were nice, I could tell his dad and him had a falling out though."

Collins nodded with a frown. "Was Cindy there?"

Her piercing eyes glared at me still, "Yes." I took a sip of my water, "Do you want a drink?"

He shook his head, looking me straight in the eye, "What is it? I've known you long enough to know you are withholding information my friend."

"She doesn't like me." I said briefly, but he gestured for me to continue, so I told him about the bathroom incident.

"Rachael, she's just being a bitch, don't let her bother you. You've made Mark's life better, not worse. Trust me, he hasn't been this happy in a long time."

"You sure?" I asked quietly, still unsure.

He nodded, "I'm sure, don't worry about it."


	10. Angel

Chapter 10: Angel

**Rachael's POV**

I shivered and leaned against Mark. Snow fell to the ground, twirling in little crystal circles, some sticking to the window. Mark wrapped his arms around me more tightly and pulled a blanket over us. God Benny is such an ass, why can't he turn on the fucking heat? I felt so at home in Mark's arms, I laid against his chest and just listened to his heart beat.

Not much later, Roger came out of his bedroom, yawning and then sat down in the chair next to the couch. "Morning." I said sleepily, he replied with a hand wave as he finished his yawn.

He sighed looking out the window. "What is it Rog?" Mark asked, his voice calm but intrigued.

Roger stared at his guitar, "I'm just thinking about joining that band."

"Were they nice?" Mark asked.

Roger nodded, his face impassive, "They were." His eyes suddenly grew misty and he smiled softly, "They were all just so young, so inexperienced. I think it's gonna shock them a bit, being in the rock world. So naïve…"

Mark nodded, stroking my hair, "Have you ever considered that if you joined the band, you could kind of…guide them?" I said softly

Roger looked at me, and shook his head slowly surprised but really contemplating what I had said. "I'll think about it." He replied quietly.

I smiled up at Mark, he kissed my forehead when there was a knock on the door.

Collins voice rang in, "Come on you lazy asses, you better be up by now."

I smiled and getting up rather reluctantly went to open the door for him. I was greeted by his big bright smile, "Hey Rach. Y'all up for some breakfast?"

I turned to the boys and shrugged. They both nodded.

-----------

We all sat down at the Life.

Collins turned to Roger, "Hey man, I don't want to pressure you, but the band really needs to know soon."

Roger nodded, "I'm getting closer to a decision, I'll tell you as soon as I decide."

The waiter came by, his shirt a flamboyantly bright pink. "What can I get you all?" He flashed a smile at Collins, obviously checking him out as well.

Collins smiled back politely and ordered, but didn't return any other glances. The waiter looked slightly put off as we ordered.

"Collins, I think someone has a crush on you…" I whispered in a sing song voice.

He blushed, "Yeah guess so."

"Not your type?" I asked as the waiter continued to try to and catch Collins' eye from across the room.

He shrugged before adding softly, "Too soon", not looking at me directly. I remembered what Roger had told me about Angel. But it had been 2 years, I didn't understand.

I reached out for his hand hesistantly, "Collins, it-it's ok you know, it's ok to try again."

He looked me in the eyes, his eyes sad, "Maybe…."

I smiled, gave his hand a squeeze, and repeated, "Its ok."

------------

**Mark's POV**

Roger and Collins said goodbye closing the door behind them, leaving Rachael and I in the hall.

I put my arms around her and kissed the top of the forehead. She was such an angel, such a good friend to Roger and Collins. As I held her close, I couldn't imagine life without her. I needed her here, like when she needed me to fall asleep, I needed her to breathe. She looked up at me with her beautiful eyes and planted a kiss on my lips. I deepened the kiss trying not to get lost in pleasure before parting. But we didn't have to part, I thought suddenly.

I stopped and pulled away, "What is it Mark?" she asked, her voice small and confused.

"Do you umm, maybe want to umm move in?" I asked hurriedly

She didn't even blink before responding, "Yes."

I kissed her again, my stomach in butterflies. She said yes, I had felt our relationship was serious, this just cemented that in my mind.

This time she was the one to pull away, seeing my eager face she giggled lightly, her laugh making my heart catch. "Can I move my stuff tomorrow?"

I nodded letting her in, Roger raised his eyebrow goofily, "Hello there…."

She laughed, "I decided to move in."

Roger ran over to Collins, "HA! I told you!"

"What the hell?" I asked, my hands on her waist as we walked over to them.

"We kinda bet on when you would finally ask her to move in." Collins explained.

Rachael giggled while I felt completely scandalized. "Thanks guys." I said, my tone sarcastic.

Rachael turned in my arms, her eyes bright, "Now don't worry about them, its only a game." One look in her eyes and it didn't seem as bad anymore.

-------------

I rolled over, Rachael was on her side looking at me. "Morning." She said, her voice light and heavenly.

"Morning." I whispered back, giving her a soft kiss. She smiled into it and leaned into me, her bare skin on mine already intoxicating me.

Her smile grew wider as our lips parted, running her hand through her soft hair. "I was thinking after my class today we could all have lunch. It's been a while since we've seen Maureen and Joanne and Collins is home. You can even get some filming done while I work and we can just meet at the Life."

"Sounds good to me." I loved how she was so considerate of letting me have time to go film, I was working on getting this film spot at a new agency, and she had been really supportive. It meant so much to me.

**Rachael's POV**

With one last kiss, we both got out of bed. As I stood up to put on a shirt, the room suddenly turned sideways and fuzzy. I leaned against the wall, but head feeling foggy. What the hell was going on? Ugh, I felt like shit. Suddenly I felt Mark help me sit back down on the bed, "Rachael, what wrong? Are you ok?"

I shook my head, "I-I don't know, I just got up and I got really dizzy."

He held him close, stroking my hair as gradually my vision became regular. In his arms I felt safe again, I didn't like that feeling of not being in control. "Do you want me to call Gisele and tell her your sick?"

I shook my head, "I should go. It'll be fine."

"You sure?" He asked, his voice calm as he tried to mask his worry.

"Sure." I said, leaning into him more.

"If you got pneumonia from how cold this place is, I'm gonna kill Benny." I smiled at the protectiveness in his voice.

"I'm sure it's just a minor cold baby."

----------

I stumbled in the alley on the way to my classroom, leaning on the door. I closed my eyes, trying to keep my vision straight. I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped and opened my eyes to see Gisele's worried face.

"You ok Rach?"

I nodded, "I'll be fine. I caught something, I don't know what though. It's probably just a cold."

She followed me into the classroom as I set up, "What happened?"

"I was getting out of bed when it started I just got really dizzy. Now whenever I walk too much, my head spins a bit and my stomach is really aching."

Gisele frowned as I moved towards the back cabinet. "Rachael…"

"Yeah?" I asked, staring at the pencils to find the right ones.

"Did you ever think… that you might be pregnant?"

I almost dropped the pencils. Looking into her eyes, I said truthfully, "I- well, no, I hadn't though about it. But that- god. Gisele I might be pregnant." The truth hit me like bricks, "What am I going to do?"

She put her hand on my shoulder, "I don't know, take a test and work from there."

-------------

I held the test, my hands trembling. After class I had ran to the pharmacy and then ran back to the loft. I checked the clock, I was supposed to be at the Life right now, but this couldn't wait. When the time had finally passed I looked at the little indicator, it was blue. This was the fifth test that had said the same thing. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I was pregnant. This couldn't be happening. I wanted kids with Mark, but I hadn't expected it to happen now. Cindy's words rang through my head, "…he's never gonna get there if he's worried about you getting knocked up". I had screwed up, what was I kidding? Mark didn't want kids with me, now he wasn't going to get this job if had to be worried about me. Oh god.

I heard a knock on the door. I opened it, trying to mask my worry, "Mark we need to-"

My heart stopped and I backed away from the door, fear flooding through my body. The younger Rachael inhabited me.

"Hello Rachael." His voice was mocking and haunting.

My ex stared back at me.


	11. No Turning Back

Chapter 11: No Turning Back

**Rachael's POV**

"E-Ericc" I said, shocked.

He couldn't be here, he – I couldn't do this. I have been so long without him, and he appears and he already has the control, after only two words.

"Who's Mark?" he asks, stepping in and looking around. He hadn't changed a bit, his black hair still in the same stupid hairstyle, his face had gotten a little older, but that was it. It was still the first man I ever loved, the same man who changed me forever.

"N-no one." I said quietly, backing away still until I bumped into the couch.

But he stepped forward, gripping my hair and tugging tightly. As I whimpered he pulled more, "Don't lie to me." He growled, his voice threatening.

His glare made me shrink back into submission and before I could think the words slipped from my mouth, "My boyfriend."

It took less than a second for me to realize the gravity of my mistake, I shouldn't have said anything, yet he would have forced me to tell him anyways. His eyes grew mad and he slapped my across the face. My cheek stung as he came close and whispered in my ear, "But you missed me, didn't you baby." He said, his breathe was hot on my ear and his voice made me shiver.

"Didn't you?!" He asked, his voice now commanding and harsh. "Tell me you missed me!" he yelled.

"I missed you." I whispered, not really meaning in. I felt so small compared to him.

He smiled cynically, "Much better Rach." Then he let go, walking around.

"How'd you find me?" I asked, my voice quiet. I had always talked in a quiet tone around him, then maybe he'd hit me less.

"I uhh called your dad." He said, staring out the window, leaning casually on against the wall. "Told him I got taken anger management classes and wanted to come tell you I'm sorry."

Liar, such a liar. He came back over, "But truthfully, I just came to see you." His hands gripped my shoulders so tightly and I tried to not squirm as I'm sure the bruises started forming.

"Why are you fidgeting?" He asked, slapping me again. I just whimpered and pulled away, "You little bitch, just stay still." He said, but I couldn't control my shaking. This time, before I could do anything he punched me, fist clenched.

I fell against the couch, crying. Pain pulsed through me. I tried to wipe my tears but he saw them. "Stop crying! Stop you fucking crying." He yelled, kicking me hard in the stomach.

"Ahhhh" I cried, one hand clutching my stomach, the other holding the test in my hand. My nails dug into the skin on my hand as I held tighter. He kicked me again and again until I laid there, my body in shock and I was no longer crying. I had forgotten what it felt like, to be dizzy with such intense pain.

He leant down and stroked my face, "Much better." I shivered involuntarily, his eyes flickered with anger before turning back to their emotionless state, then standing up he gave me one last kick. I felt blood start to trickle from my mouth, the slow incredible pain unendurable.

"Get up." He whispered, his tone full of venom. I shakily put my hands on the top of the couch and pulled myself up slowly, the pain shooting up through my body. "Faster!"

I stood up too fast causing my vision to blur. I could see Eric, but in a blob-like form, reaching out. But it wasn't to touch me kindly, he slapped me across the cheek again, "Stand up straight, stop being so weak!"

I touched my cheek as it burned. I couldn't help myself as I started to shake in my spot. Growling like some sort of animal he grabbed me and threw me against the wall. "Stop it!!!!"

My head hit the wall first, sending me into numbness. I felt his hands around my neck. "N-no, p-please." I begged as I began to run out of air. "Y-you're k-killing more-than o-one." I said, thinking about the test still in my hand.

At this he became utterly furious, "You fucking slut! You whore! Fucking Bitch!" He repeated every bad name for a girl as his hands constricted my throat even more. My breathing was ragged and unstable, my vision was getting darker and darker. It was getting harder to fight the darkness. "P-p-please." I begged.

I was about to shut my eyes and give into the unstoppable blanket of pain covering me, when I felt my throat open and I crashed to the ground. There were loud voices as I heard the door open. Leaning against the wall, with difficulty I opened my eyes as much as I could. Roger and Collins were fighting Eric, Marueen and Joanne going into Mark's loft to hide with the children. Although Maureen's face indicated she wanted to kick ass, she understood the danger for Ryan and Ella. The door closed removing them from my view, the sound of it shutting sounded like a 'bang'. I felt someone put their arms around me, I looked up to see Mark's worried blue eyes staring down at me.

"Rachael, oh my god. Rach…" He took my hand, "Hold on tight." He yelled to their apartment, "Mo call 911!!"

Pushing against the wall, I tried to get up. Eric was fighting back hard, but Roger and Collin's faces were filled with anger and determination, and had nothing on them. "Eric, stop, please, just go-" Before I could finish my sentence, he had hit me again, sending me into the wall and straight to the floor.

Collins tackled him, holding him down as Roger punched him, absolutely livid. Mark cradled me in his arms. I tried to relax in his embrace but the darkness was too close. "M-mark, I-I-I'm not sure how much longer I-I can.." I said, not able to keep going. He held me closer, his eyes wide and scared, I could feel his heart gallop.

"Stay with me, itll be ok."

"M-mark…" I whispered, my voice hoarse as I felt blood fall from lips again. He wiped my lips alarmed.

"Yeah?" I handed him the test, "It turned blue." The darkness pulled me in and there was no turning back.

**Mark's POV**

Her eyes closed, "No!!" I heard someone scream, it took me a moment to realize it was me. "Rachael…" She lay limp in my arms.

Collins and Roger looked over and their faces turned pale. Eric laughed quietly and Roger punched him again and he went unconscious. Collins ran over to the loft to get Mo and Jo. Roger came over and stroked her cheek, "That bastard. He's lucky I didn't kill him."

I held her close, unable to comprehend what was happening. My heart had fallen, and my world was crashing around me. Without her, I die without her. Joanne was already one the phone, the paramedics on their way. Ella crying in her arms, Ryan clinging tightly to Maureen who was hysterical.

As the paramedics took her away, I felt my heart stop. I couldn't feel anything inside me, my heart was just aching too badly. All the bruises, and the blood, I couldn't take it.

I stood as the rest of bohemians took a seat in the waiting room. Collins spoke softly, "When he hit her, it was like he was swatting away a fly, so careless."

Maureen shook her head, trying to stay together, "Not now Collins." She said, her eyes flickering up to me for a second. I hated her stare, she was pitying me. I hated being pitied. Collins nodded and stayed silent.

Joanne came and sat down next to Maureen, "The police are keeping him. He's going to get tons of jail time. I still think we should get a restraining order."

Roger nodded, "That fuck deserves more than restraining order, he deserves to fucking die for what he did to her." He spat, the pain evident in his voice.

------------

It had been hours, and there was still no news.

I called her Mom, called Giselle, and everyone else, trying to keep myself busy.

It was midnight and I finally crumbled into one of the stupid blue plastic chairs in the waiting room and broke down. I cried into my hands. I never cried, but my heart was losing reason to hold out, I couldn't hold it inside any longer. I cried and cried, my friends with their hands on my back, being the only support I had left in the world.


	12. Letter of Goodbye

Chapter 12: Letter Of Goodbye

Authors Note: Reviews helpful (hint hint)

**Mark's POV**

I sat there in silence with my head still in my hands. Even though the tears had stopped, my head felt too heavy to lift.

I could hear them trying to be quiet while they spoke, "Collins, I've never seen him cry."

"Me neither Roger. I don't know what would happen if she didn't-"

"We're not taking about that. It won't happen." Maureen said defiantly, the stubbornness in her voice very recognizable.

They were quiet again, leaving me to my thoughts, thoughts that no matter what they were, haunted me.

I felt the test still in my hand. My heart raced at the thought. She, god, there was something in her, a baby, our baby. Images of her bruised stomach came flashed through my mind. He had to have known, shit, I had to do something, I couldn't stay here anymore. I stood up suddenly, my legs shaking beneath me.

They looked over at me in surprise and Collins came over, putting his hand on my shoulder, "Mark-"

"I'm gonna kill him, he-he-he, what he did to her, I can't-" I said, my voice getting louder.

"Woah woah, man calm down." Collins said, his eyes sad and his normally bright smile not present on his face. "We all want him dead, but the police have him. It's going to be ok"

"No its not." I whispered, handing him the test, "She said it turned blue."

Collins stared at it, his eyes wide, completely silent as I continued, "You saw her, h-he hit her all over, there's no way the baby survived."

Roger came over and put his arms around me, at first I refused to let myself, but then sank into his arms. I hadn't realized how much I needed it.

----------------

"Will the party for Rachael Adams please come to the front desk."

I stood and walked quickly over to the desk, my head numb as I prepared myself for whatever I might hear. I felt everyone come behind me.

"How is she? Is she okay?" I asked, my voice monotone, masking my worry.

"She was in surgery, she just woke up and she wanted to see you all. Please don't be too loud around her, she's probably very disoriented. She's just down the hall in room 300-"

I didn't wait for her to finish before heading to her room. There was a flicker of hope within me now, a tiny light shining for her. I carefully opened the door.

She lay on the hospital bed, curled up and staring at the ceiling. There was an iv in her arm, reminding me of too many memories. She just looked so small and frail in the big white bed, her skin discolored, her hands shaking.

I suddenly realized that I had been unconsciously holding my breathe that whole time, then let it out. I stepped foreword, a 'squeak' coming from the cheap linoleum floor. She slowly looked in my direction a smile forming on her face.

"Mark."

**Rachael's POV**

Even through it send more pain through me I spoke again, my voice quiet, "Is he gone?"

He nodded and slowly continued to walk over. "He's in jail now."

His blue eyes showed so much pain, but he was trying to hide it. I couldn't believe after all that had happened, Cindy had been right, her words hitting me hard, _If I were you, I'd just go back to England before he gets hurt._ Maybe I had deserved all this, maybe I should have left. First I got pregnant and then the obvious pain in him, it was entirely my fault. My heart fell as I felt tears fall down my face, knowing now what I had to do. He cautiously wiped them away and then held my hand tightly. I saw Roger, Collins, Joanne, and Maureen all come around me too. Their faces somber and I could sense the aching within them.

"I love you." Mark whispered, his voice no longer monotone but thick with emotion.

"I-I love you too." I managed to say back, giving his hand a small squeeze.

--------------

I lay against Mark, his arms loosely around me. I felt so much safer in his arms, he wouldn't let anything happen to me, making everything harder. He stroked my hair gently then stopped. I looked up and saw the nurse had came in, she checked the machines and charts before turning to us. I thought she might ask him to get off the bed but instead she said, "I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?"

Mark looked at me, "Bad." We both said together.

She nodded, "Unfortunately, the baby didn't live." My hand rested protectively on my stomach. It-it was gone. I felt so torn, I didn't want to mess up things with Mark, but deep down I really wanted the baby.

She continued, "The good news is you're recovering well and you should be able to leave soon." She left swiftly, leaving us to our thoughts. But before either Mark or I could speak, I heard a familiar voice.

"Rachael darling!" Mum was in the doorway, tears in her eyes. Her brown hair mussed after tossing and turning on the plane ride I assumed. Her worry lines set into her face as she walked over.

"Mum?" She nodded and took my hand.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, her small hand held onto mine, her skin paper thin.

"Better." I said simply, I was still in pain but I didn't want to give her reason to worry more than she did.

"I was so worried when I got the call from Mark. It was Eric?" She asked, pulling up a chair beside the bed.

"Yeah, guess he decided it was time for a visit." I said, the sarcasm noticeable in my voice.

"I'm going to stay for a couple days. It's been so long sweetie." She said, her smile faint.

------------

I sat on the couch, sketch pad and pencil in hand. Eric had robbed my muse and I couldn't draw, it was too hard. Mark kissed my forehead, "You'll get it, don't worry."

He had been optimistic and caring, his sweet repose shining threw. I almost cried at the thought that the flight back to England was today.

"You sure you're ok with me going out to film?" He asked again, still holding my hand as he stood in front of me.

"Of course." I said, he had stayed home with me the last couple days, putting his work on hold for me. I couldn't let him be held back by me any longer.

He smiled, "I'll be back in an hour or so." Taking his camera and wrapping his scarf around his neck, he gave me one last kiss before heading to the door.

"I love you Mark." I said softly.

He turned around, "I love you too."

The door closed and I leaned against the couch, wishing I could have at least said a proper goodbye, but that would have to do.

Putting my pad and pencil aside I slowly stood, my body still aching. Opening the door to our room, I went in a pulled out my suitcase. Tears fell as I took my newly moved clothes from the closet and started to tuck them in the suitcase.

I felt my heart rip in half as I zipped my suitcase shut. My tears had turned to sobs as I started to write a letter of goodbye.

What could I could I say to explain how much I loved him? No words could fully express the love in my heart or how those feelings lead me to choose this path.

I heard "Rachael?"

I looked up in surprise to see Mark in the doorway, he was looking around in confusion. The tears were uncontainable as they began to fall faster.

"What's going on?" He asked moving towards my suitcases, his fingers brushing over them lightly before looking me straight in the eyes. Deep down I think he knew what I was doing.

"W-why are you back already?" I asked, avoiding his. I became acutely aware of the ticking on the clock as my heart jumped in time with it.

"I was worried and missed you. Don't change the subject." He said, his voice calm, his anger and shock interlaced with his melancholy stature.

"No no." I whimpered, "You need to be filming, I've ruined so much already, I can't you lose this." I mumbled, my hands clenching the bed sheets.

He kneeled beside me and took my hands, giving them a kiss stopping the shaking. "Rach what are you talking about? What did you ruin?"

I looked down at our hands, how he holding my hands delicately without malice, only understanding and care; more tears fell.

"You, I'm ruining everything for you. Everything's my fault, she was right all along." I said between sniffles.

"Rach, you're not making any sense. Tell me everything." He asked, his eyes pleading

My throat caught on my tears, I smiled as he wiped them away and whispered, "Shhh"

"When we went to your parent's house that night, the morning after, I was in the bathroom and Cindy came in. The conversation was casual at first but…"

"What did she say?" He asked, a frown on his face

"She said she didn't think we should be together, that I was holding you back from your career and that you would get hurt. She also made a snarky comment about me getting pregnant. And now it all happened, she was right, I got pregnant and since you've been worrying about me you haven't been working on that job as much, and I know I've hurt you and…" I was talking fast, my thoughts coming out.

"Woah Rachael, shhhh." My rambling slowly came to stop.

"First off, my sister, ugh." He looked away, "She doesn't know what she's talking about ok?" He turned back to me, "Your not holding me back either. I really love you Rachael and you have to trust me, no need to worry about that job. If I don't get it, I don't get it, I'd rather know you're ok."

"But you've wanted to be a filmer for a while though haven't you?" At his words, I felt my heart slowly start to piece itself together.

"Yes, but I can get a job anytime. I have you now and I'm not letting you go over some job." He said softly, giving my hand a tiny squeeze. "You didn't hurt me either Rach, Eric hurt you which hurt me. It hurt to see you in pain. You didn't do anything, that wasn't your fault." He said, his voice calm and reassuring

"As far as you getting pregnant..." His cheeks flushed a little. "I do want kids. I guess we should probably talk about this."

I nodded as he sat next to me, still holding my hands, "D-do you want kids?"

"Yes." I said truthfully, "I don't know when, but I do want them."

"Me too." It felt so good to know he felt the same way.

"You'll be a good dad." I said softly as he wrapped his arms around me to pull me close.

"Thanks, you'll be a great mom."

We lay next to each other, entangled in each other's arms. My head lay on his chest and my heart was finally at peace.


	13. Mara Bell Cohen

Chapter 13: Mara Bell Cohen

(shout out to RappAddict, who helped me an idea for this chapter!)

**Rachael's POV**

Joanne rested her hand on mine, "What do you want to do today?"

I shrugged, "I think I might want to try and go to the Academy, I think I'm ready again."

Joanne smiled, Ella on her lap. She had her thumb in her mouth, and her eyes bright as she looked up at me. I felt her calm in the little girls presence, and a little sad. My hand went to my stomach, as I missed the baby that used to be inside. I looked over at Mark and smiled, he was slaving away on his film, attached his projector at the hip, his brow furrowed. My hand slowly went back to my side, my heart had seemed to mend when he had said he wanted kids too, the idea didn't seem too farfetched anymore.

Joanne smiled, "That's great."

Ryan ran past me, chasing after one his toys. Following him, came Maureen whose face was lit with a motherly glow that I found myself jealous of. Ryan giggled, picked up his little car and came over to me. Jumping up and down he asked with his puppy dog eyes inherited surely from the drama queen, "Will you play with me?"

"Sure Ryan" I said, gladly sitting on the floor with him.

-----------

I pushed open the red door to the classroom and sighed with relief, it was the same. Mark held my hand tightly.

"You're going to be great." He whispered, causing a small smile. "Thanks"

I started to prepare for class, the clock ticking by and with each moment a dull ache grew inside of me.

Finally the clock hit the hour and Mark gave me a kiss on the cheek, "I'll see you back at the loft in an hour."

He was going to leave but I reached out and took his hand, "Mark….can-can you stay?"

"Sure." He said, sitting in one of extra seats. I wasn't ready to admit it, but I was still scared, I wanted him near all the time, just in case. Eric's reappearance had made me more cautious. His continuous presence made the ache disappear.

Mark filmed me from the back as I taught, sending me assuring glances and always smiling.

As I cleaned up all the pencils and materials, Mark came behind me and wrapped his arms around me, "You were really great."

"Really?" I asked, turning around in his arms. I didn't think I was a very good teacher, I hadn't been formally taught to become a teacher.

"Yeah, they really get it when you tell them to draw something, although I don't particularly like some of the looks you get from your male students, they all respect you." He said with protectiveness in his voice.

I smiled, "Don't worry, I only have eyes for you Mark." I leaned in and kissed him deeply. He smiled and pulled me close as I leaned against my desk.

"I love you." I said softly.

He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his eyes looking in mine, "I love you too, more than you know."

-----------

I sat down next to Mark, the Life full of fellow bohemians.

"Hey you guys!" Collins yelled from across the table.

I waved then took off my snow covered jacket and turned to Mark, who was struggling with his scarf. I laughed and helped him untangle it.

There was a rush of cold air as the door opened and Roger stepped in, looking contemplative. Ignoring our hello's he went over to Collins.

"Tell them-tell them, tell the band that I'm in." He said rushing as if he didn't say it he would change his mind.

Collins broke into a larger smile, "That's great Roger, I'll tell them."

I gave Roger a warm smile as he sat down across from Mark and I. Maureen and Joanne joined next, Maureen sitting next to me.

"Glad to have you back." She said

"Thanks."

Ella climbed over into my lap, leaning against my chest, her eyes falling fast. I smiled, my heart full of love for her. I glanced at Mark, his eyes showing the same as he touched my shoulder and kissed her forehead.

I looked out the window, the snow filling me with a sudden sadness. Ella no longer felt like a small baby in my arms, but a weight and reminder of what could have been. The waiter passed by in a hurry but I stopped him.

"Can you bring me a candle and a pen? And not the little birthday candles, a real one."

He gave me a funny look but nodded. Mark didn't say anything but he gave me that look aswell.

I looked down at Ella and rocked her gently, lost in my own world till the waiter touched my shoulder. "Here."

I took them in my hand then shakily wrote "Mara Bell Cohen" on the candle.

"Collins, can I have a match?" I asked, reaching across to him.

With another odd look, he dug out a match from his pocket and handed it to me.

I lit it and placed it on the table, just staring it and trying to keep the sadness inside. Gradually I felt everything around me get silent.

**Mark's POV**

She lit the candle then put in on the table, her hands shaking slightly and her eyes misty. She didn't saw anything, just stared at it. Everyone around the table gradually turned and looked at her, their voices softening. Roger's green eyes filled with concern.

What was it she was so concentrated on? I looked at the candle a little closer, and it took me a moment to understand fully. It said, Mara Bell Cohen, a name, for the baby. I wanted to help her, but I wasn't the one that had had something growing inside me, to have it taken away by someone I hated. I still felt the pain in me, I had wanted kids, but I knew it could never compare to her pain.

"Rach…" I stared down at Ella in her arms, she was clinging to Rachael tightly.

I took her hand and the hand of the person next to me. Before long everyone joined hands as all of us silently acknowledging the candle.

I saw a tear fall down her face and she remained silent. More tears began to fall and she whimpered softly, Ella now asleep in her arms.

I broke the circle and hesitantly gave her a hug. Her arms went around me, Ella between us, and she cried on my shoulder.

-----------

Rachael lay asleep in my lap, her cheeks still tear-stained. I stroked her hair, hating that there wasn't much to take away the sadness inside her.

The phone rang and a voice filled the loft. "SPEAAAKKK!!!"

"Mark, hi it's Cindy." I felt my sorrow turn to anger, Cindy had wrecked everything. "I just wanted to see how that film of yours is coming and see what was going on…" I got up carefully and picked up the phone.

"Hi." I heard her intake of breathe, she probably hadn't expected me to actually pick up. But before she could speak I continued, "Look, I really really don't want to talk to you right now. So just don't call, okay?"

"Why not Mark? Am I not allowed to care for my little brother?" She asked, her voice sugar-coated and fake.

"No, after what you did I'm surprised you have the conscience to call. You are _never _allowed to speak to Rachael like that." I could hear my voice rising so I paused, I didn't want to wake Rachael. "For your information, whether or not I get a job isn't based on whether I'm seeing Rachael, it depends on how much they like what I film. You had no right to tell her what to do. She's gone through a lot because of you and what you told her. I really love her Cindy." The other end of the line became quiet, I rarely poured my heart out to her. "I love her Cindy, and you're just going to have to deal with that." I hung up, slamming the phone down.

I sighed, glad to have gotten that all off my chest. Cindy had been one of the many reasons I had wanted to leave home, she had also been nosy and a bitch.

I sat back down on the couch and kissed Rachael's forehead as she continued to sleep. I closed my eyes, leaning against the pillow. Her suitcases. I opened my eyes suddenly, the image still haunting me.

I looked down at her, remembering how I had found her, crying as she was writing a letter. I gulped, my throat caught. She was really going to have left me. The feelings came back to me and I felt once again like a little boy when my parents tried to take my camera away from me. I couldn't t breathe and I held her close, not wanting to ever let her go.

I needed her more than she thought. Did I really care about my work so much that she might think it was more important to me than her? I looked up at the falling snowflakes outside, my head and my heart in a fierce argument.

I jumped when I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned my head to see Roger standing above me. I hadn't even hear him come in.

"Roger." I whispered. "I want to marry her."

A/N: Sorry it took so long, chapters will be about everyweek or so due to the wonderful hell called school. Hope you guys are enjoying it!


	14. Something Brilliant

Chapter 14: Something Brilliant

**Mark's POV**

Roger stared at me, his eyes wide and his jaw slightly dropped. "What?" He asked.

I repeated myself, still whispering. "Roger, I want to marry her."

He set his guitar down and then sat on the coffee table in front of me. "Well, umm, wow. You really love her don't you?"

I nodded, I had never thought I could feel this way about someone. It was something about her, I couldn't place it. All I knew was that I never wanted to let go of her.

"Then I guess, what the hell, just go for it. I'd be surprised if she said no, I mean she was ready to have kids with you." He said, his arm was resting on his knee and his chin in his hand.

I looked back down at her and stroked her hair. "Do you think you would have gotten married?" I asked my voice still quiet knowing how sensitive the subject was for him.

"I doubt it, Mimi was a wild child." He smiled grimly. "Maybe though, if we were older she would've been ready to settle."

The door opened and Collins walked in, he took one look at our faces, his eyes dancing with his most recent high. "What's up bitches?"

I opened my mouth but Roger spoke first with a smirk, "Mark wants to get married."

Collins' eyebrows rose, "Good for you man, a big step though."

I nodded, looking back down at her again. Her face was serene as she slept, always beautiful. "I'm ready for it."

He half shrugged and sat down next to Roger, "So…."

"So...what?"

"So what's the plan? How are you going to ask her?" He asked, rubbing his hands together.

"I don't know! I just decided that I'm going to." I asked, straightening my glasses, my pulse quickening. How should I do this? What if she says no?

"Woah I know that face, you are not changing your mind." Roger said, his stern glance fixed on me, all knowing as usual.

"But-" He cut me off though, "No buts. She's not going to say no. I've known her for a long time and I'm sure she loves you too. The only thing I would say though is maybe wait to ask her until you're sure she's feeling better. After all that's happened lately she might need sometime before something like this."

I nodded, that made sense, I didn't want to overwhelm her, if I do that I higher the chances of her saying no.

Collins turned to Roger excitedly, "Man we are going to have so much fun preparing him for this."

"Hello, I'm still here you know!" I said, grabbing their attention. They both turned to me, but only for a second.

"I'm doing his hair." "I'm fixing his outfit" "He should give her a song" "You're the one who sings, he should give her a poem." "A film!" On and on they argued. I just shook my head, laughing at how excited they seemed.

-----------

I shook my head, "No, you guys, I don't feel like doing this right now. And we just left Rachael alone, we should go back." I tried to turn away from the ring shop they had kidnapped me to, but they grabbed my arms and pulled me inside.

"Come on Marky, just get it all out of the way, done."

I just glared as they took me up to the counter. The lady behind the counter came over, her red hair bright read and very mussed, a frown on her face. She looked pretty overwhelmed, "How may I help you gentlemen?"

Collins pointed at me, "He needs a ring for his girlfriend."

She nodded and looked at me, taking out a little pad of paper and pen, "Anything specific?"

"Nothing extravagant, she likes simple things."

She bit her lip and scribbled on her paper, "Colored diamond?"

I shook my head adamantly at which she smiled. "I know exactly what direction to lead you in."

She walked around the counter a bit and pointed inside the case.

"Its nice when I have customers who know what they want." She said looking disdainfully at the other customers.

There were many different rings inside, but compared to all the other cases, these had sophistication about them. All of them were beautiful, but one seemed to just stare at me, calling out to me.

It had a medium sized silver band, the sides curved smoothly, and the round diamond was small but it was set in such a way that made it seem like something brilliant from the ocean.

She seemed to understand as I continued to stare at it. She took it out of the case and put it in front of us. Roger and Collins leaned in to look at it.

"Man, that's _it_." Collins whispered.

I nodded, "How much is it?" I asked the helper lady.

She showed me the price tag and I grimaced. "Well thanks anyways." I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets.

She tilted her head, "Come back anytime. It'll be here waiting." I thought about the ring as we walked out, disappointed. The ring was perfect, I sighed, maybe only rich people were supposed to get married.

When we got outside, Roger punched my shoulder. "Ow"

"What were you thinking? You could have bought that!"

I shook my head, loving that Roger thought he knew my financial situation, "No, not without help from my parents – and I refuse to do that."

"You could have asked us you know." Collins said with his hand on my shoulder.

"I couldn't do that to you guys. I'll just have to get work soon." I said.

--------------

I stepped into the office of Martin Film Agency, holding my camera and film. The man behind the desk smiled and gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. His brown hair seemed artificially stuck to his head, but there was nothing else fake about him. His old face was careworn, his twinkling brown eyes seemed to hold a wisdom in them that I found soothing.

"Welcome Mark, we're glad you decided to come."

"Thank you for seeing me." I said, sitting down.

"No problem, I understand you have some new film for us." He said, smiling as he looked at the film in my hand.

"Yeah, I've been working on these for maybe 7 months now…so here." I handed it to him, standing as I did so.

"If its what we're looking for, then we'll call you and you can come work here at the agency with a segment to segment pay."

"Sounds good. Thanks for the consideration." I said, knowing how big this agency was and the possibilities that came with it.

-----------------

**Rachael's POV**

I opened my eyes to see no Mark. There was now a cold all around me, chilling me down the bone. I had fallen asleep on him so I hadn't had a blanket and without one the winter cold caused goose bumps. Why did he leave? I looked around and there wasn't any note. He normally left a note.

I wiped my eyes and tucked the hair behind my ears. Suddenly I heard footsteps and the door opened. Mark rushed in with his camera in hand and he was panting. When he saw me he winced. The wince made my heart fall. What was going on?

"Where did you go?" I asked, my arms crossed, hugging myself to keep myself warm.

He set his camera down, the awkward silence made the air stagnant. "I-um had to go out." His voice was hurried and nervous.

"Okay" I said, not understanding why he was being so dodgy.

I sat back down on the couch, shivering against the pillows, and looked out the window. The felt the pillow indent as he sat next to me and scooted closer. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" I asked not looking at him.

He put his arms around my waist, "I didn't leave a note, I'm sorry. Roger and Collins, they convinced me to go somewhere and I didn't have time to leave a note. You know how they are sometimes…" He laughed lightly.

I turned to him, "Its ok, I understand."

He kissed my forehead, then my nose, then pressed his lips to mine lightly. I smiled when he pulled away. I could see in his eyes, he really was sorry.

I kissed him back which caught him by surprise, but he responded quickly and kissed me back. I leaned back, resting on the arm of the couch as he slowly moved on top of me. Slowly undressing we moved to our room and made love.

-----------

"I love you."

"I love you too." I replied between kisses and smiled.

Authors Note: More information on the film will be revealed – don't worry, it'll be very important youll see. Happy Turkeys Day and enjoy the weekend!


	15. Boho Days

Chapter 15: Boho Days

**Rachael's POV**

"So how is everything?" Maureen asked as the waiter brought us our dinner at the Life. She had her chin her hand as her elbows rested on the table and her eyes were bright, her never dimming smile present.

"It's good, everything's slowly getting back into routine. How about you? Are the kids ok with Joanne being away on business?"

She flicked her wrist all non-chalant, "They miss her sure, but we're surviving." Her drama queen persona seemed to want to appear strong in the absence of her very organized other.

"Well if you ever need help, just call." I said with a smile before taking a spoonful of my soup.

I looked around, wondering if I could ask her questions, but I didn't know if she'd be willing to answer. Mark had been acting so weird latly and I figured she might know what was wrong.

"Hey Mo?"

"Yeah?" She looked up from her fries.

_I opened the door to the loft to see Mark, Roger and Collins huddled in a circle, chattering. _

"_Hello boys…" I said as I walked towards them to see what they were discussing._

_The looked up in surprise and I heard a rustle of papers as they all turned towards me with me with very scared and suspicious looks on their faces._

"_What are you all doing?" I asked trying to see what they were hiding._

"_Umm nothing?" Mark said then gulped._

"That's weird…." Marueen said as I finished telling her about the occasion. "I don't know maybe they're scheming to rob a bank or something."

I rolled my eyes with a smile before having some more of my soup. She was so crazy and imaginative sometimes, it was nice to have a friend like her around.

"I think you two are good for each other." She said after taking a sip of her diet coke.

"Really?" I asked

"Yeah, I mean I had fun with Marky, but I'm better off with Joanne. You two are so cute. He seems really happy."

"Thanks." I smiled down at my food.

-----------

Collins was sitting in a chair with his joint just smiling up at the ceiling. Roger was sitting on the metal table and was plucking at his guitar. Mark wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Hey baby girl." Collins said, his voice deep and a little far off.

"Hey." I took off my coat and sat down on the coach, "What did you two do today?"

I had spent the whole day with Maureen helping her with some posters for her newest protest. "Nothing really, just the usual – Collins had some classes. I had my first band practice today."

"Oooo. How was that?"

He looked up his expression mixed of excitement and a hint of sadness. "It – it was good. They have awesome music, it was just hard to be back there."

I nodded, he had told me about April when I first got here, I remembered.

"But I'm glad to be back." He said as he began to play his fender again, staring at some sheet music intently.

I looked back over to Collins. His brown eyes were hazy. He took another drag and crossed his legs.

"Rachael…" Collins began but as he started to continue, the door opened.

Mark came in holding his camera proudly, "Guess what?"

"What?" I asked then got up to give him a hug.

"They liked it, the Martin Agency just hired me!" Roger and Collins both sat up straight and smiled at each other.

I kissed him on the cheek, "That's great baby."

Collins raised his eyebrow, "But you went to see them this morning, what took you so long?"

"I had a detour to make." Hearing this Roger and Collins looked at each other again. They certainly seemed to know something I didn't, probably had to do with whatever they've been planning.

They both stood and walked towards their respective rooms, "Well night."

Weird…they both never went to bed this early. I looked up at Mark as he wrapped his arms around me, "So can I see this mystery film?"

He kissed me softly, "Sure."

I sat back down as he set up the projector. I leaned against the pillows and giggled as I got a great view of his ass.

He finally got everything up and took out the film from his bag. It turned on as he came back over and sat next to me. I layed on him as the screen flickered.

It was a bit grainy at first then little numbers appeared on the screen, flashing a countdown 5,4,3,2,1. The words Boho Days appeared on the screen, below it "A Mark Cohen Film".

It was first a shot of Roger plucking on his guitar like normal, but this Roger seemed a little younger and his hair was shorter then it panned to Collins who was stumbling with wine his hands.

It flew to a shot from someone's birthday, Maureen and Joanne were there with the kids. Ryan was laughing as Roger held Ella who was asleep in his arms.

Next was a shot of the life café with the snow falling and suddenly I appeared on screen. My cheeks were pink with cold but I didn't look cold, only happy. I was running around in the snow. I remembered that day, we had gone to have lunch and ended up having a snowball fight. On screen Roger threw the first snowball at me and I fell on my ass.

I laughed and it switched to a scene of all of us at the Life my first night here. We were all dancing around the tables as the waiter tried to stop us.

Then a shot of Mark and I as we were kissing. We broke and my eyes came to the camera and we both smiled, me at the camera him at me. The screen slowly faded to black.

I didn't even realize tears had fallen until Mark asked, his voice quiet, "Are you ok?"

I nodded and wiped my tears, looking into his eyes. "Mark, that was amazing. Really… I loved it."

He smiled and stroked my hair as he held me close. "I'm glad."

----------- (next morning)

**Mark's POV**

Rachael's chest lay on my chest with a smile on her face, she was fast asleep. I thought about how her face had lit up when we watched the film last night.

She wrinkled her nose a bit in her sleep which looked so adorable. She opened her eyes slowly and yawned, pulling the covers up more over us.

I smiled down as her as she looked at me, "Morning." She whispered, her voice a little raspy from sleep.

She snuggled up further and gave me a good morning kiss. I couldn't help myself and deepened it. She replied gladly kissing me hungrily.

She giggled as I started to kiss her neck, "Marky…mark…" She rolled over onto her side.

"I love you Rachael." I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too darling." She said, her accent crisp but her voice gentle.

"These last 5 months have been amazing. I can't imagine what would have happened if you hadn't dropped that box downstairs."

She smiled bashfully, "Me neither. I'd be quiet miserable without you."

I reached over her and opened my to sock drawer and took the ring into my hand. My heart pounding a thousand miles an hour, I whispered into her ear, "Rachael, will you…will you marry me?" I felt her stiffen beneath me. Fuck. The shock was evident.

"Oh my..of course!" She said quickly before squealing, "Marky!" I slipped the ring on her finger and it was then that I noticed the tears in her eyes, happy tears.

"Mark, its beautiful. So this is what you boys have been going on about. I can't believe this. Yes yes yes!"

I pressed my lips to hers and she responded passionately.

My heart had never felt so full. She had said yes, there had been the tiniest doubt she might say no. But now I never had to worry about loosing her. She was mine and we could have kids, grow old together.

My arms went around her, keeping her bare skin close to me, intoxicated with love.

R and R appreciated.

My dad had his ring for my mom in his sock when he proposed ;)


	16. Everything To Me

Chapter 16: Everything To Me

**Mark's POV**

There was a knock on the door but Rachael and I just ignored it and kept kissing. Another knock. Her hands went through my hair. Another set of knocks. I pulled her closer to me, no part of us not touching.

A voice pulled up apart, "Woah, oh god."

Roger was standing there, his hand over his eyes. "I came in here to see if you were dead or something. I mean its noon and you weren't out yet. But I guess you're busy. Man I never want to see…ugh." Then he spotted the ring on her finger as he slowly let his hand down, "Ohhh, I get it now." He yelled out the bedroom door, "Collins!!"

He came running in, "What is it?" He turned to us then with eyes wide then looked away, "Roger I don't want to see that…"

"No he proposed, dude look!" Collins turned back with a wary eye. His large smile appeared when he saw the ring.

"Congrats. Do you guys want to go out and celebrate or something?"

"Sure." Rachael said with a smile. "But can umm you two go so I can get out of bed without flashing you?"

Roger nodded, pushing Collins out, and walking towards the door, "Right, sure."

I smiled as she snuggled closer and whispered, "I really don't want to get out of bed."

"Me neither. We don't have to you know…." I whispered back.

She kissed my lips softly before pulling the covers away and getting out, "We do have to face the day sometime I guess."

"I guess." I sighed, grudgingly getting out from underneath the sheets too.

----------

Roger patted me on the back causing me to almost slip on the icy sidewalk. His pats were as gentle as a lion's.

"I'm so happy for you two man." He said, pulling his leather jacket closer to him.

"Thanks." I felt my cheeks turn pink as I straightened my glasses.

There was a sudden yelp behind us and we both turned to see Rachael was getting a piggy back ride from Collins.

I laughed, "Collins, you're going to break something!"

He smiled, "I'll be careful don't worry."

"Yeah baby, don't worry. Be happy!" Rachael said with a giggle as we approached the Life.

I switched my camera on and faced the lens towards on them as she giggled her arms around his neck holding on tightly. Then I panned on Roger who growled at the camera as usual then panned straight ahead to where Maureen and the kids were coming down the street.

She was holding Ella in her arms and Ryan was tugging on her arm. She looked so tired but as she got closer I could see she was smiling.

"Hey!!! I heard we have something to celebrate, what is it?" Maureen asked excitedly even though her brown curls were nearly frozen to her head while Ryan wore her hat.

Rachael smiled from up above, "I found out what the boys were planning and why Mark was acting so weird."

"Ohh why?" She asked impatiently

She let her left hand dangle in front of Maureen who gasped.

She grabbed Rachael's hand, looking close at the ring, then back up at me. "Oh my god!!!! Marky!!!!" She sounded like a teenage girl watching a romantic movie.

She pulled me into an unexpected hug, "I can't believe it. You two – wow, I have to call Joanne." Maureen pulled out a black cell phone from her bag.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked not thinking any of us could actually afford one.

"Pookie gave it to me when she left." Her voice hinted exasperation, "In case something should 'come up'."

"That reminds me…" I heard Rachael say from behind me, "I should call my mum to tell her."

My heart sank. Parents, I had completely forgot about them. Did they really have to know? I sighed, knowing I should call my parents later too.

I was aroused from my thoughts when I heard Maureen's voice, "He proposed!"

Knowing Mo, all inhabitants of Alphabet City would know by tomorrow at the latest. I shook my head in amusement as we all got inside the Life.

Ryan tugged my scarf, "Marky?"

I knelt beside him, "Yeah buddy?"

He pointed to Maureen who was still on the phone chatting away, "She said you pwoposed. What's that?"

Mark smiled as Ryan tried to say the word 'propose'. "Well, I asked Rachael to marry me."

His eyes got wide as he jumped up and down, "You're getting married?"

"Yep." I smiled.

"Ohhh, congwatuations." He said proudly thinking he had said it right.

I laughed, "Thanks Ryan."

**Rachael's POV**

I watched Ryan hop up on Marks lap asking him questions about the wedding, a quiet family moment as the café filled with a flurry of people and the waiter rushed everywhere.

Maureen sat down next to me and begged, "Can I see it again?"

I smiled, blushing, "Sure" I showed her my left hand and her eyes softened seeing the ring.

"Rachael, its so beautiful. Have you thought about the wedding yet?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking back down at the ring. It _was _gorgeous.

"Like what dress you want and stuff like that?" She asked obviously wanting to help plan.

"I've thought about it a bit, but I don't see any point in rushing it. I think I want a spring wedding."

Maureen smiled, babbling about different flowers and dresses. I just stared at Mark as her words went in one ear and out the other. He was everything to me and now would be forever.

----------

I picked up the phone at the loft, my heart beating faster as I wrapped my fingers around the phone cord.

"Hello?"

"Hi mum!"

"How are you darling?" I could hear the tap turning on, she was probably washing her paint brushes.

"I have good news."

"Oh you do?" The water had turned off, her attention fully on me.

I felt Marks arms wrap around me as I replied softly, "Mum, Mark proposed."

"H-he did?" I could her sniffling.

"Yeah. Why are you crying?"

"I'm just happy for you darling. You're all grown up now…" I could her smile though her sniffles

"Thanks mum." Mark gave me a small kiss on the cheek.

"Oh what your fathers going to say – have you told him yet Rachael?" She asked, her cheery voice a little less happy at the topic of dad.

"No I haven't yet." I said, my voice a little crisp at the thought, "I should be the one to tell him right?"

"I would think so darling. I'll let you call him. Talk to you soon darling. I love you, congratulations."

"Thanks mum, I love you too. Bye!"

I set the phone down and dialed my dad's number, my hands shaking a bit. Marks hands around me calmed me slightly.

"Hello?" His voice was far away and business-like.

"Hi dad, its Rachael." I said softly.

"Oh." His voice changed slightly, it was now warmer. "Is something the matter?"

"No, I just- well umm, I have some news. Good news." I said nervously.

He sounded a little hesitant, "Okay. What's the news?"

"Well remember Mark, my boyfriend? Umm, this morning he, he asked me to marry him and I said yes." I said.

There was a very long pause, "Wow. I –well just wow. Are you ready for this?"

"Yeah, I love him and he's good to me."

"Well, I think it's a bit early, but if your happy. I-I guess that's good enough for me too." He sounded like a tired old man and had finally given in.

"Thanks Dad. I'm gonna go, but I thought you'd want to now. Bye!"

"Bye Rachael."

"How'd it go?" Mark asked quietly as I put the phone down again.

"Good. Mum was crying she was so happy. And dad, he just well, he's not exactly overjoyed but he wasn't upset."

"That's good though right?" He asked, his eyes showed his worry

I nodded and pressed my forehead to his, "Yeah, it is."

He pressed his lips to mine "I love you."

"I love you too Mark. I love you and always will."


	17. Some Fairytale

Chapter 17: Some Fairytale

**Rachael's POV**

There was a knock on the door and I turned away from my easel. Joanne stuck her head in and smiled. She saw the class and turned to leave, "No its ok, come on in. The class ends soon."

She nodded and sat down at one of the spare easels. The students looked around at each other in confusion wondering who she was.

"As I was saying you can't blend to much when you get about here…." I continued, finally bringing their attention back to me. Joanne watched silently from the corner as I taught them about blending color pencils.

"Bye Rachael!" "Bye teach." "Thanks Rachael!" "Congrats Rachael, see you!"

"Thanks see you next week!"

I closed the red door behind the students as they slowly filtered out, leaving Joanne and I in the room.

She gave me a huge hug, "Have a good trip?" I asked her

"It was ok, boring and uneventful. I missed Maureen so much. She stayed in line while I was gone right?"

I nodded, "Of course."

She took my hand. "I believe I have some congratulations to give missy."

I grinned bashfully down at my shoes, "I guess so."

"Congrats Rachael, this is big. I have known him for less than others and this still shocks me. He really was just getting by before, I never thought he would have this. It's really great." She spoke with sincerity.

"Thank you. I just remember when we first met. I was exhausted from my flight and I had arrived at this run down apartment building. I was trying to get up the stairs and I slipped, and dropped all my stuff. Then I heard someone come down the stairs and I look up and there he was. His bright blond hair highlighted by the dingy lights, and his bright blue concerned eyes beamed from behind his glasses. I-I just. I'm glad I don't have to consider being without him." I said

Joanne looked a little surprised but pleasantly so and gave me another hug.

------------

I stopped in the middle of the street, something had caught my eye. Of on the far side of the road was this small church. It was the most beautiful building I had seen around this part of New York. It was old, a little worn down, and the steeple was half broken. But there was something about it, the light seemed to glimmer and dance on the windows, some of which were stained glass, some broken. There were also these beautiful roses all over it, some of the roses were dead but most of them were just about to bloom. It was in back of this abandoned courtyard hidden between buildings.

"Then the judge got all corporate on her ass and…" Joanne's words weren't connecting. "What is it?" She asked, looking where I was.

I started towards it, ignoring oncoming traffic as I ran across the street. Joanne followed after me, "Rachael, what is it?"

As I stepped into the courtyard I noticed the old black gates that were in desperate need of repair and the grounds cracked and faded marble.

"What is this place?" I asked her, rather mystified.

She stared, "I have no idea."

I carefully opened the door to peer inside. It was small but quaint, giving off a warm feeling. The lights were bright but no florescent.

"Joanne," I whispered, "This is _it_."

A man I hadn't realized was there, got up from one of the pews and came towards us. He had brown hair with grey coming in and a kind smile.

"How may I help you ladies?"

"I want to get married here." I said straight out.

He chuckled, "Well that shouldn't be a problem as long as you're engaged."

I nodded, still looking around, "He proposed to me two weeks ago."

"Congratulations. Well, not many people come here anymore so anytime you wanted to have the wedding is fine by me."

"Really?" I asked, "Thank you. This is perfect."

He smiled as I looked around enchanted by its charm, "I'm glad I could be of help."

"Joanne that was really just so perfect." I whispered, excitement still in the air as we walked away from the church. I felt as thought I was in some fairytale and there were little stars and pixies around me giving me miracles, miracles just for him and I.

She nodded, "I know, it was an old church but beautiful."

I tugged my coat closer to me as the wind blew again; the New York weather was trying to rock my world, but nothing could possibly go wrong today.

"Rachael! Joanne!" Hearing our names we both turned around to see Mark waving as he came towards us.

"What are you doing around here?" I asked, giving him a hug.

"I was doing some filming a couple streets over, I was just heading home. What about you two?" He asked as he tucked his camera into worn down green messenger.

"Joanne and I were coming home from my class…but then we saw this church." I pointed to it.

He stared at it for a moment, his eyes focusing in concentration, before getting his camera back out again. "I've never noticed this place, I didn't even know it was here." He said as he filmed it.

Joanne nodded, "I know, its really weird. But its great inside and the man said you two could use it-"

"He did?" Mark asked from his camera.

I went over and wrapped my arms around his waist, "Yeah, he said we could use it for whenever we choose the date."

He turned it off, "That's great." He said then gave me a quick kiss and putting his camera away again. I really should get him a new bag for Christmas, even if he's Jewish, I thought as we started back to the Loft.

Joanne's phone suddenly went off, "Hello?" She handed the phone to me unexpectedly, "Its for you."

I took the phone cautiously and put it to my ear, "Hello?"

"Its Roger." He sounded agitated.

"Why are you calling Joanne for me?" I asked, his call still puzzling me without end.

"Because your dad just called and said he wanted his secretary or something to take you shopping tomorrow for the wedding. He gave me his number to call him back and insisted I call you now so he could put it in his 'schedule'. " He spoke the last word with a mock air of sophistication.

I sighed, this was just like him, to but in without asking if I even wanted help. "Well I guess, fine whatever, tell him I'll meet with her. Thanks for doing this Roger."

"No problem Rach." He said, "Bye."

"Bye." I hung up and handed it back to Joanne as I leaned against Mark.

Mark kissed my forehead, "What is it?"

"My dad." I said simply.

**Mark's POV**

As we entered the loft I heard a all too familiar voice filling the loft and it caused my mouth to go dry.

"Mark, its your mother! We were just calling to see how everything was going. Any new films? How's Rachael? You two are very sweet, your father and I liked her very much.-"

I had to pick up, I hadn't told them about the wedding yet: it was now or I would never get the courage to call them myself.

"Hi mom…" I said hesitantly.

"Oh Mark! What a surprise!"

"Yeah I don't really know how to say this. But umm, Rachael and I are engaged."

"You're engaged?! Honey, come here, Mark's getting married!!"

I shook my head, she was probably going to try and plan the whole thing. "Look mom, I just got home, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

She seemed disappointed, "Well okay, don't forget to call us Marky! Bye."

"Bye."

There it was done, they knew.


	18. Mark's Princess

Chapter 18: Mark's Princess

**Mark's POV**

I wrapped my arms around Rachael and kissed her neck. She had a bowl of Capn Crunch and a pad and pencil in front of her. I snuggled my face in her curly brown hair. "Mmm morning."

"Morning Mark." She said with a tired smile.

"Ready for your big day?" I asked trying to lift her mood, but she just rolled her eyes.

"I guess, I'm having Maureen and Joanne come with me. So it won't all be torture." She said, her pencil moving slowly across the page.

"I thought girls liked shopping?" I asked, getting myself a bowl.

She smiled, "We do, I do – it's just the way my dad is organizing this all, that's what I'm opposed to."

I nodded, I mean I understood her dad wanted to help, but he didn't seem to know his daughter well enough to do it properly.

There was a knock on the door, "Who's here at this time of the morning?" Rachael looked up at the clock.

"Shit, it's the secretary lady!" She said running to the room in her pajamas, "Tell her I'll be out in a minute."

I took a bite of my cereal then went to the door. Before I opened it, I looked down to make sure I looked semi-presentable and buttoned up my shirt. The woman behind the door was a frazzled red-head with glasses and she was wearing a pin stripe suit. She was holding a cell phone and had a purse over her shoulder with papers stuffed in it.

"I'm here for Miss Rachael." She said her voice soft but strong.

I opened the door for her further, "She'll be out in a minute."

Roger suddenly appeared from his room, he smirked when he saw the secretary. In only his pajama bottoms he walked over to the kitchen, ignoring the looks of admiration from the now wide-eyed secretary.

Rachael raced out of her room in jeans, black boots, a red long sleeve shirt, green scarf, and black jacket. The clothes fit in her such a way I didn't really want her to leave yet. But I just blushed at the thought.

"Sorry I'm ready." She said following the woman out the door. "Bye Mark! Bye Roger!"

**Rachael's POV**

"Hi, my name's Susan, I'm your father's secretary and I'm helping you today."

I gulped, her eyes seemed to glare from behind her glasses, "Nice to meet you. Do you mind if we stop by and pick up my friends. Their going to be my bridesmaids and I want them to be with me."

Her eyebrows raised, not expecting to have to stray from her agenda, "I'm sure we can."

Maureen and Joanne were waiting on the street corner as we pulled up to their apartment.

"Hey Rach!" "Hey girlies, hop in."

Maureen immediately started to chatter excitedly about different dresses and styles as Joanne just rolled her eyes even though her smile indicated she was excited too.

Susan seemed to be getting a little frustrated at Maureen's incessant talking but just kept flipping through the papers infront of her. After another five minuetes or so, she started to talk over Maureen. In surprise Maureen dropped the conversation at which Susan smiled.

"As I was saying, there are five different stores we can hit on the major stores along this street.."

She kept talking as I looked out the window only to see very expensive looking shops. I wanted simple, _not_ all this. I sighed and nodded along with her, I had to try this for my dad.

-----------

The annoying bell rang as Susan opened the door to a very high fashion wedding dress store. Maureen and Joanne followed in behind me, both of them in awe of the dresses. I looked around, certainly not as excited because all I saw was glitter, lots of puffy dresses and dresses made of uncomfortable-looking fabric.

Susan smiled, seeming to relax into this wealthy environment, "Crystal, its Susan!"

A woman peeked out from a huge pile of taffeta "Susan!"

They shook hands before turning to me, "This is Rachael and we need to find her a dress."

Crystal came over and circled me. I felt like I was some animal being inspected. She was wearing a silver dress herself and her hair was twisted up into a very complicated bun. "Hmm, nice shape, I can work with this."

This? What was I some 'thing' instead of a person? I frowned slightly as I was led to a rack of dresses.

"Look," She commanded pointing at them. I gulped and started to sift through them.

"No, you're too slow! Here I look." She stepped in front of me and took out a couple dresses then held them up in front of me.

"I think maybe-" "They're prefect. Go try on, I'll find more."

Joanne and Maureen sent me a glance of sympathy as they looked at the bridesmaid dresses.

Once in the dressing room, I finally looked at them, most of the dresses were just terrible. I reluctantly tried on the first on. It was off-white with a low v-neck and tiny silvery train. I looked at myself in the mirror slightly disgusted, the material was clinging too much and it went way to far on my chest; in all I felt very uncomfortable.

"How are you doing in there?" I heard Susan ask from the other side of the door.

"Uhh, okay I guess. I'm trying on the next one." I said, taking it off.

The next one was a white corset dress with a hoop skirt. Oh Lord… I carefully put it on piece by piece before looking in the mirror again. It was a beautiful dress, but it wasn't me. None of them were me at all. I got dressed in my clothes again and gathered all the dresses back in my hands.

I handed them all back to Crystal who looked very put out. "I'm sorry, but none of them are for me. They're beautiful, just not for me."

She was stunned for a moment before regaining her composure, "You…you no like?"

I tried to explain myself but could only stutter under her burning glare. Luckily Susan came over and rushed us out of the store, apologizing on the way out.

The door shut with a bang as the bell ran inside it. Susan didn't say anything but I could tell there was anger brewing.

---------

I leaned against the wall and shut my eyes. This was the last store on Susan's list, and nothing, absolutely nothing, was 'the dress'. I felt Joanne and Maureen come to my side,

"It's ok Rachael, you'll find it."

"I hope so." I opened my eyes as Susan ushered us into the car. I looked back at the store one last time with a sigh before turning back. Something caught my eye though. "Wait!"

Susan looked at me exasperated, "What is it?"

"What about that store?" I asked pointing to the one across the street. It was a small bridal shop at which Susan seemed apprehensive.

"I don't think that you'll find anything there." She said crisply.

"Well I want to try, what can I lose." This place seemed much more my style than anything so far. The dress in the wedding dress in the window was so simple, so elegant.

I ran over to it, carefully minding the heavy traffic in this part of town. I smiled at the almost vintage looking store with a red door, like at my art school, and walked in. No annoying bell rang out and I was instantly pleased to not see bolts of sparkly, shiny, or overly-lacy material. Greeted by the sweet smell of a vanilla candle, I felt myself relax. A woman, not much older than I, came out from behind the register.

"Hello sweetie, how can I help you?" She asked, her voice kind and calm.

"I'm looking for a wedding dress." I said softly. I heard the door open and close behind me. Maureen and Joanne smiled, I could tell they liked it here better than all of those other stores. Susan however had her nose scrunched up in a very condescending way.

The woman chuckled, "Well then you're in the right place. Do you have anything specific that you're looking for?"

"Not really, just something simple." I said, carefully looking through the bridal dresses as Maureen and Joanne looked at the bridesmaid dresses. "Well I'll be here if you need any help." She said

It was a relief she wasn't going to try and choose for me, I thought. After searching for a bit I still hadn't found anything, but I wasn't willing to give up. I tried the next section of dresses. They were all so pretty…wait what about that one. I carefully inspected one that had jumped out at me. It was an ivory colored silk satin dress with a sweetheart top, a side sash with a crystal pendant, and a simple train. I almost gasped at how perfect it was.

"Can I try this on?" I asked the woman.

"Of course." She led me to the dressing rooms. "Good luck."

"Thanks." I whispered. As I changed I felt a change in the air, maybe it was the store, maybe it was the dress. I was hoping it was the store _and_ the dress.

As I slipped it on, it didn't feel too tight nor too big instead it fit me like second skin. It was as if it was made for me. I felt like princess in this, Mark's princess.

"Maureen, Joanne! I found it!" I squealed. I opened the door for them to see it. Maureen gasped and Joanne's jaw dropped, even Susan looked excited.

Maureen giggled and rushed over, "Rach, its perfect! Mark won't be able to keep you hands off you in that."

I blushed as Joanne agreed, "You look beautiful."

In hearing commotion the woman came over and when she saw me she smiled kindly, "Oh you look wonderful."

"I love it." I said, turning in it.

"Do you know what flowers you want?" She asked while making tiny alterations.

"I hadn't really thought about it yet." I admitted

"Well if I may, I highly recommend roses, they match very well with the dress. And you would look lovely with them." She said as she stood.

"I can get them for you." Susan said, surprising me by speaking.

"Thanks Susan, I would love that." Back in the dressing room I carefully took it off, my mind racing. I felt like a little kid that had just been giving the toy that had been looking for.

On the way back home, Susan talked to me endlessly about other tedious details about the wedding. But all I could think about was the dress, it was just right. I had a feeling this wedding couldn't be any more perfect.

**Mark's POV**

I looked down at my projector, my first job for the agency was to cut this film and arrange it for them. The problem was none of the film seemed to make any sense in relation to everything, but I guess that was the point – to test my skill without the camera in my hand.

I felt someone put their arms around me and I jumped in surprise. Rachael giggled, "Did I scare you love? Deep in thought perhaps?"

I nodded, glad to see her. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"Well that's because I'm sneaky." She said with smirk.

She seemed to be radiating, "Did you have a good time?"

"Not at first, but eventually it got better. The good thing is the planning is out of the way." 

"All if it?" I asked amazed. "Doesn't planning take a while?"

"Well once I found the dress, that led to everything else. Plus, I just want something simple." She said

"So do I." I kissed her softly, "When do you want the wedding to be?"

"Not long from now." She said, leaning into me as I wrapped my arms around her "I don't think I can wait much longer." She whispered.

"Me either." I said softly.

"What about next week?" She asked her head on my chest

"The week of Christmas? Sounds good, whenever you want."

The dress: go the Lazaro Bridal site and heres the code** LZ3710**


	19. I Do

Chapter 19: I Do

(day of wedding!)

**Mark's POV**

I paced back and forth across the room as sweat was starting to slowly come down my forehead. What if she changed her mind? What if she decides she doesn't want to get married to _me_? I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder which broke me from my thoughts.

Collins looked me in the eyes, "Mark, you have to calm down. It's going to be fine."

"Son, just stop twitching and straighten your tie." My dad said in an unassailable voice from the corner of the room.

I gulped. It was just like him to be commanding on an important day for me. I jumped in surprise as I heard the door opened. I turned my head, my heart beating a thousand miles per hour, to see David. "Come on man, its time."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe before heading into the sanctuary, focusing on every step.

I took my place but Roger had to put his hands on my shoulders to steady me, "Mark, you're going to be ok."

I straightened my glasses as the butterflies in my stomach kept fluttering, "You sure?"

"I'm sure." He said softly and the confidence in his voice calmed me slightly

**Rachael's POV**

I stood in front of the mirror, fretfully curling a couple of small pieces of my hair. I could see Maureen draw near through the mirror reflection. "Rach, you look great." She carefully took the curler from my hand and turned it off as she set it down.

We had woken up early to get ready for today. I used a thick curler giving my brown tresses some loose curls. My mum put on a light layer of glittery white eye shadow, some burgundy blush to match the roses and some simple brown eyeliner and mascara. Joanne came around me on the other side, "She's right, you look beautiful."

In the light of the dirty mirror we stood, them in their simple satin claret dresses and I in my wedding dress. The toe of my heels tapped on the ground as I rocked slightly, "I'm just so bloody nervous."

"There's no need to be worried darling." Mum said as she placed the fragile veil on my head. It had been her veil and her mothers, and I was so honored to wear it in succession and to follow the tradition. "You two are going to be so happy." I smiled back at my reflection. I had never been so nervous and happy in my whole life.

There was a sudden knock on the door and Cindy's head appeared through the crack in the door, "Its time."

Mum gave me a quick hug as tears sparkled in her eyes, "I love you." After giving my hand a squeeze she followed Cindy into the sanctuary.

My dad was standing in front of the doors looking apprehensive look. His face was careworn and his eyes twinkled sadly. When he saw me, all concern and tire had disappeared and were replaced with a warm smile, "Rachael….you look beautiful."

I blushed. I was glad to hear a kind voice unlike the father I was most accustomed to. "Thanks Dad."

Maureen and Joanne slowly walked in before me. I took his hand, my heart starting to calm and I was finally ready to go in.

He opened the door for me and I slipped my arm into his. The church looked absolutely perfect. It was lit perfectly, radiating a glow from heaven it seemed. Cindy, David (her husband), and Mark's parents were in the first row on one side. My mum sat on the other side of the rows. They all turned towards me as we walked slowly down the aisle. I carefully placed my foot in front of the other, trying hard not to cry out of joy. Maureen and Joanne smiled at me as did Collins and Roger and between them was Mark. His mouth agape as he looked at me, looking at me in desire, it was hidden behind a red face but I could tell he admired the way the dress fit. He was wearing a black clean cut tux and he looked so brilliant. I sent some glances back myself, making us both redder. He should wear that more often, I thought to myself.

We finally reached the end of the aisle as the music slowly started to decrescendo. I gulped and turned to my father who with shaky hands lifted the veil over my eyes. He gazed at me with his watery green eyes before slowly pressing his lips to my cheek then sat down next to mum in the pew. They both watched me with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces.

I took Mark's hand and held it tight. Out eyes met and I was lost in them, excited for our life soon after this. It would be all that I'd ever asked for - he was all that I'd ever asked for. There were bound to be bad times, it was inevitable – but I had a feeling we could get ourselves through anything, as long as we stuck together. As the priest spoke, I was locked under Mark's long gaze; under it I had never felt more beautiful in my whole life. It was though the world was perfect for just one day, just for us.

Roger smirked at us and handed us both the rings for each other.

"Do you take Rachael Faye Adams as your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do" A beautiful simple diamond ring was slipped on finger and I couldn't help but let a tear fall down my face as I smiled at him.

"Do you take Mark Dean Cohen as your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do" I slipped the classic band on his finger, holding onto his hand even tighter as my nerves vanished. This was it.

He closed the bible and beamed "You may now kiss the bride."

Mark brought me close and kissed me softly. I wrapped my arms his neck and kissed him back deeply, not wanting to part from him.

I leaned in closer to him as I heard the bohos start clapping and he kissed me harder until we both pulled away to breathe. He pressed his forehead to mine with a smile then kissed me again.

----------

Mark sat down on our dingy couch back at the loft, but tattered or not we were married and that was all that mattered, not the money spent on the materials we sat on. This was home. I sat down on Mark's lap, holding his hand tightly. We still hadn't let go since we left the church. I looked down at our intertwined fingers and rested against him. My heart was full and I couldn't stop smiling.

"You look incredible." He whispered in my ear, his hands around my waist. "You too." He gave me a small kiss, nipping at me bottom lip. I would have deepened it but a voice pulled us apart as Collins sat down next to us. "Hey baby girl, you looked great up there."

"Thanks Collins."

Roger plopped down on the other side of us and ruffled Mark's hair, "See everything turned out ok? Congrats you two, really."

"Thanks Roger" I gave him a hug, in these last 6 months, our friendship had grown so much and it was good to have him as an older brother figure again.

Mo and Jo rushed over and sat down together at the foot of the couch. "I'm so happy for you guys!" Maureen gushed

We both blushed but before we could thank her our parents came over.

Marks' parents stood together on one side of the couch any mum and dad on the other. "It was a wonderful wedding." Mrs. Cohen said, although I could tell she was slightly bitter that it hadn't been a Jewish ceremony.

"It was" Mum agreed before turning to her, "I'm Nancy."

"Lisa, its nice to meet you."

I kept close to Mark, watching as our parents mingled and glad there wouldn't be a battle of the parents. They seemed to be getting along pretty well anyways.

I nestled against Mark's chest, my heart bursting with love, happiness and excitement. Most women would be anxious for wherever their honeymoon would take them. But Mark and I had decided to just stay here instead and I was more than content to stay home my new husband and love him as the snow fell.


	20. The Best

Chapter 20: The Best

(3 months later)

**Rachael's POV**

I hummed quietly that irresistible hook as I sat down with a bowl of cereal. Roger's band was really doing well and their newest song was stuck in my head, again.

"You like it then?" I heard a rather smug voice say from behind me.

"Yeah I do, you guys are really good." I said as Roger smiled, getting himself a cup of coffee.

I felt arms come around my waist and I closed my eyes, leaning into Mark's chest. I felt his scarf next to my face and I gave it a playful tug, "Morning love"

"Morning Rach." He kept his arms around me tightly as he gave me a kiss on the neck. Ever since we had been married, our relationship was better than ever. We spent most of the time together, apart from work, and I didn't think our love had ever been stronger.

Every time we were together, it was just this feeling in the pit of my stomach – wait, god no that's not what _this_ is. This doesn't feel like normal, not at all. "Excuse me." I got up quickly and ran to the sink. With my hands on either side of the sink, I threw up.

My throat felt scratched up and my stomach felt oddly queasy. I was about to lift my head when my stomach gurgled and more came up. I felt Mark's hand rubbing my back. Once I felt a little steadier I turned the tap on and took a small sip.

"Are you ok?" Mark asked his worry discernable. "Rachael?"

I stood slowly and rested against Mark as he stroked my hair. "Was it bad cereal?" He asked, which caused Roger to stop mid chew and push his bowl away.

"I don't know, maybe." I kept my head on his chest, his smell was soothing. I played with the frayed edges of his scarf as my thoughts mulled over. The feeling wasn't entirely new, but I couldn't place when I had felt like this ever before. I closed my eyes when suddenly the memories hit me and my eyes opened just as quickly as they had shut. I had been like this, with my head on his chest, we were lying in bed and I had gotten up, oh god.

"Mark, I haven't felt like this since I was pregnant." I blurted out

"You- what?" He asked quietly. I looked up at him, "I could be pregnant."

His eyes widened and he stuttered slightly, "A-are you s-sure?"

I shook my head, "Not absolutely sure, but I know this feeling is the same as last time."

As he stared at my stomach and a smile slowly started to form, "Wow."

"I can't believe it." I said so quietly I was almost whispering in excitement.

"Me neither." He said as his blue eyes twinkled before giving me a small kiss: to which I happily responded.

"Before you two go all crazy on me, don't you at least want to make sure?" Roger suggested smartly.

"Right, we need to get some tests." I said with cheerful jitters as I grabbed my purse. With a bright but uncertain smile on his face Mark shook his head as we walked out the door, "There is a free clinic closer than the store."

I held his hand tightly as we both sat in the white plastic chairs, which were rather uncomfortable. But the discomfort took a back seat to my anticipation.

"Mrs. Cohen?" I stood swiftly, stopping only for a moment to enjoy hearing those words. Even though it had been 3 months, I felt slightly giddy at the outward mention of being Mark's wife. I doubted I would ever stop taking pleasure in being his 'Mrs. Cohen'.

Still holding his hand tightly, we followed the red-headed nurse. She led us to a beige-walled room but before leaving to talk to the doctor, she turned to me. "Just down the hall is the restroom, inside it are some tests. We recommend that you take more than two just to be sure and then we'll check you."

Mark seemed apprehensive at staying behind, but I gave his hand a squeeze and whispered, "It's ok, I'll be right back."

I had an energy pulsing through me as I walked down the corridor. I could be carrying Mark's child, a baby with his sweet cobalt eyes. I locked the door then took three tests just to be sure.

Holding them carefully on the correct side, I walked back to Mark's side and set them on the table. We both waited nervously for the time to elapse for them to reveal their answers.

He kissed my forehead reassuringly, "How much longer?"

I laughed softly, glad to know he was as restless as I was. "Only a minute or so left."

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze as the time passed what seemed very slowly. Finally one the tests had changed color, "Blue! Oh my gosh, Mark!" He held my hand a little tighter as the next two changed within seconds of the first, and they all turned blue.

I threw my arms around his neck as tears unexpectedly started to flow. "I'm pregnant Mark." I had never thought it would happen this quickly but I was glad that it had. I wanted nothing more than to a mum to his kids. The dizziness was momentarily forgotten as I was filled with a blissful joy.

He held me tightly, "Wow, this is amazing…we're having a baby." His voice was quiet, but he sounded excited.

The nurse came in and seeing the tests, she smiled, "Congratulations." Her words spoken as though she really meant it, "Was this planned?"

Mark shook his head, "Not really, but its good news anyways."

She checked me over to see how far along I was and to make sure everything seemed alright. As I was 12 weeks along, she said everything looked great and to come back periodically.

"There's a phone in the waiting room if you need to make calls." She said after congratulating us once again.

I was bursting with elation as I dialed the number to my mum's flat in London, "Hello?"

"Mum? It's Rachael." I said trying to keep myself calm so not to give it away

"Hello darling. How are you? You certainly sound like everything's well." She said in her usually jovial voice

"Everything's wonderful. We actually have some news for you." I said with a grin, "I'm pregnant."

"That was rather quick!" I blushed pink, "That's very exciting news indeed. Oh darling, I wish you two the best."

Mark's parents were next, I could tell he was unsure of how they would take this.

"Hi Mom."

"No no everything's good." He tightened his grip on my hand.

"That's not why I'm calling actually. Rachael and I wanted to share something with you."

"Well, you're going to be grandparents." I saw him wince as pleasant hysterics came loudly through the phone. Although her voice was muffled, I could tell she was defiantly not upset, which came as a relief to both of us.

"Thanks mom, well we have more people to call. I'll talk to you later." He hung up with a look of puzzlement.

"It went well love, don't worry." I said

He nodded and bit his lip, looking down at the money we had left to spend, "How about we tell everyone else at the life instead of wasting this on phone calls."

"Sounds like a great idea." I said, feeling very giddy still.

-----------

(3 months later)

I closed the door and set down my purse. I had just had a doctor's appointment that Mark was supposed to have been at, but he didn't show. I rubbed my rounded belly, cursing at my aching body as I sat down on the couch. I was in dire need of a back rub or something. I stared around empty loft with a sigh. Collins was at a class, Roger had band practice, and Mark…he was out at work as usual I guess. Ever since the baby had come, he had started to pull away and was working more than ever. I rested my head against the pillow looking out at the summer sunshine outside the window. When I had found out that I was pregnant, I hadn't expected this at all. We were both so excited. Maybe I had been daft to think he would be here with me, coming to the doctor's, taking me on walks, rubbing my back. He had done so in the first trimester, but now well on into the second trimester when I was starting to need him the most, he was no longer here.

I closed my eyes as the hot air prickled against my skin causing me to feel even more uncomfortable. I needed him now so much, to hold me to tell it would be ok in the end. I felt so misshapen and unsightly and although he didn't seem to mind much, he wasn't responding to me the way he used to. I bit back tears as I tried to nod off to sleep.

I was woken suddenly as I heard the door close. "Mark?" I opened my eyes slowly, sat up, and glanced up at the clock which read 7:00. He had never stayed working this late.

"Hey Rachael." He said in monotone. I stood, trying to be optimistic and went to go give him a hug, maybe he had just had a bad day. But when I touched his shoulder, he recoiled and started to arrange some of his reels.

His flinch sent a tremble though me and with it a wave of sadness. What had happened to the Mark I married?

With a little trouble I waddled to our room and lay down on the bed. The mattress gave comfort to my swollen feet, but my heart was still in pain. In my pregnant therefore very hormonal state I couldn't help it any longer and cried into the pillow.

**Mark's POV**

Ok, that scene has to come before this, no no. I slammed my fist against the table and put my head in my hands, nothing was going right today. I heard the door open and I looked up to see Roger walk in the door.

"How was practice?" I asked, staring back down at the reels in determination

"It was good, things are going well..." He set his guitar down and looked over to the couch, "Where's Rachael?" he asked, his ragged worn-out voice sounded concerned.

"Uhh, in our room I think." I said, not really listening as I thought about this upcoming film.

"Mark…Mark?!" Roger waved his hand in front of my face, his voice pulling me out of my concerns.

"What? Yeah. Sorry, I was thinking." I said. Roger sighed, "God Mark, when did _you _become the idiot? It's normally the other way around."

"Excuse me?" I looked up at him not understanding at all.

His expression grew almost angry and his voice gradually was getting louder, "It doesn't take a genius to see Rachael's unhappy. You're barely around anymore. You need to be here for her, she needs you. And quite frankly if you don't do something, you might lose her. She's my friend too and I'm not going to let your stupidity ruin everything. Have you even seen her lately? You're being a stubborn ass and it's about time you realized."

I shoved all the film onto the floor. "I know I know ok!" I said loudly, frustrated with myself more than anything. "I'm not trying to Roger! I'm not trying to hurt her. God I'm scared, okay… I'm fucking terrified." Soon everything was tumbling out, "The reason I work so much is because I want more than anything for this baby to have a good life to come into. New York isn't a goddam rich suburb, its not! I would never forgive myself if this baby was screwed up. I'm trying to do – everything – that I can for it." I tried to calm myself down, and whispered "What if I'm not a good dad?"

I looked up at Roger, who looked shocked. I hadn't really gotten in this big of an argument with him since before he left for Santa Fe. "Roger what if _I _screw up? I can't let that happen, okay?"

Roger shook his head before speaking in a much calmer tone than before, "Mark, man, you're going to be a great dad. Really, trust me on that. You have to relax though ok. Yeah, Alphabet City might not be the best place to raise a kid. But you two are going to love the baby so much, and it will have us. Screw suburbs, we'll figure this out. We always do. I understand that you want to throw yourself into your work, but man, Rachael needs you."

I nodded and slowly put the reels away. "Go get her" Roger said with a fraction of a smirk.

I opened the door to see Rachael crying into the pillow and it nearly broke my heart. Roger was right, I really had been an ass. I sat next to her and stroked her hair. She eventually turned on her side and looked up at me in surprise.

Before she could speak I said, "I'm sorry." This seemed to surprise her even more, her green eyes looked up at me sad but hopeful.

"I know I should have-" It was hard for me to tell this to her, but I knew I had to continue, "I should have come talk to you instead flooding myself with my job. But, Rachael, I've been so scared. I'm sorry for detaching from everything, I-I'm just worried all the time that the baby won't have what it needs and that I won't be able to give it what it needs. I just want to be a good dad." I finished quietly.

I remembered suddenly a movie I had watched when I was younger. I felt very much like the main character: Johnny, save for Johnny had stolen candy. I felt like he did when he was explaining the felony to his mother, he was just trying to please her. He wasn't trying to be bad, and neither was I. We were both just a little confused I guess.

"Oh Mark…." She cried. "You are going to be great dad, you'll see."

I slid down and lay next to her. She scooted closer to me as I wrapped my arms around her, my hands resting on her stomach.

"I'm scared too." "We'll get through this together. We'll figure it out someway."

I nestled closer to her. I hadn't realized how much I had missed just holding her, it was what I was meant to do. As she slowly fell asleep, I just watched her breathe until I felt something beneath my hands. I looked down and realized the baby had kicked me. I smiled and fell asleep too as our world was slowly starting to right itself again.

---------

Sorry it took so long for a chapter, 'm a lazy ass I'll admit. I have finals soon so I'll do what I can. Sadly I only see a few more chapters for this story. But then….duh duh duh – a sequel!!!!


	21. Rebel Heart

Chapter 21: Rebel Heart

**Mark's POV**

(2 months later)

I held my camera and grabbed my scarf, "Rachael, you almost ready?" I opened the door to see she was arranging little toys in the crib that her Dad had given us last week. Her belly was peeking out a little from underneath her shirt, at 8 months pregnant, her stomach was larger than ever.

She turned around with a smile on her face, "I'm almost done." I walked to her side and looked down at her handiwork. She kept rearranging the toys in a different way every time.

"I know, but we have to get started if we want to make it to the show on time. And we probably shouldn't be late, unless we want Roger to murder us." I remarked as I took her hand.

She giggled, her jovial laugh filling the room. "Okay okay. My mum said this was natural though, it's called nesting apparently. I just want everything to be sufficient enough for the baby."

I kissed her forehead, "It will be, trust me."

Turning out the light I helped her towards the door, then down onto the sidewalk. I filmed her occasionally as we headed towards CBGB's. I knew that as the baby grew inside her she felt more uncomfortable with her appearance, but in my opinion pregnancy agreed with her. She always seemed to be glowing.

Although Rachael was a slower walker now, we made it to the club in good time. "We should stay near the back of the club, I don't want you too inhale anything that could be bad for you." I recommended protectively

She simpered sweetly and sat down in one of the chairs. Her face showed relief as she settled into her seat. As I took my place next to her, the lights dimmed and the band came on stage. I felt a rush of cold air as the door opened behind us and Collins came in muttering, "Damn that was close, right on time."

I snorted and turned back to the band. Roger was front and center with his band mates Dave, Bobby, Steve, and Erin behind him. He was in his old red plaid pants that I forgot he had, a tight black tank, and eyeliner traced the edges of eyes. He looked like his old self, the original rocker Roger Davis and as usual the girls in the crowd were going wild. But he was ignoring them, by the look in his eyes I could tell he was pissed off for some reason.

"Hey everybody, we're Rebel Heart. We'll be performing some songs my band mates wrote, then some we wrote together, and-" He turned around and muttered something angrily to Dave, who just nodded with an empty look in his eyes. "and then to finish I'll be singing a song I wasn't really ready to perform, but it's a song I wrote myself for a very special person."

He bit his lip, and looked down at his guitar, plucking some chords softly before growing louder until the rest of the band joined in. It was hard metal at first as Roger mostly screamed lyrics into the mike but as the show went on it gradually got to some softer rock with some beautifully worded lyrics: which only made the girls in the front row fall even more in love with him. After about 2 hours, he took a sip of water and wiped his forehead as his sweaty blond hair stuck to his skin.

"This is the last song of the night." He said softly into the microphone, his intensity lost as sadness started to fill his green orbs. "I-I dedicate," He took another sip of water as he struggled to speak, "I dedicate this song to my Mimi, I love you so much. It's called Hear You Me."

I turned to Collins as we were both filled with dysphoria as Roger prepared to pour his heart out on stage, his broken heart.

"There's no one in town I know  
You gave us some place to go.  
I never said thank you for that.  
I thought I might get one more chance.  
What would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance.  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
So what would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance.  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.  
And if you were with me tonight,  
I'd sing to you just one more time.  
A song for a heart so big,  
god wouldn't let it live.  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in."

Roger finished, his voice quivering as tears pouring down his face. The club was immediately filled with clapping as the band left the stage. It was almost unreal as the club was in a frenzy of excitement over Rebel Heart, while we stood frozen at the back of the room very shook up.

I helped Rachael up, who herself was crying too. She leaned into me as we silently walked back to the loft.

**Rachael's POV**

I sat down at the table, I never knew Mimi, but I knew Roger. Up there on that stage, he, he was just so distressed. I had never seen that much pain in his eyes and it scared me.

They sat down next to me. "That boy has been through so much." Collins said softly.

Mark nodded, "He's always pulling through, he's stronger than anyone I know."

The door opened suddenly and to our surprise Roger came in and set his guitar down angrily. He normally stayed out after gigs.

I put my hand on the table and lifted myself to stand and went over to him. "What's the matter?"

He paced back and forth through the kitchen, "Those, those stupid kids. I can't believe them." Mark stood up too, confusion written on his face," Roger, what is it?"

"The band's over." He said before resuming his pacing. "Why?"

"Erin's going to college. But that's not the only reason, oh no. After everything I told them…I guess The Man is more convincing than I am." He spat angrily.

We were all silent at that. Mark sat back down and eventually Roger stopped pacing and leaned against the sink. "They told me right before we went on, that I should play my song because it would be out last show."

"It was a beautiful song." I remarked gently

"Thanks."

"It sounds you like you loved her very much. I bet she liked the song too."

He looked up at me, "I did, so much." Then he turned his eyes towards the ceiling, "I-I hope so she did."

"Do you think you'll ever love again?" I asked him meekly, not knowing how he might react to such a question.

He looked like me might cry, "I don't know. At this point, I doubt there's still time for that to happen."

"I'm sure there is still some-"

Without warning he came towards me, "For you it's all simple. You don't understand! I'm dying, there wont be anymore chances for me!" He yelled.

_Eric's face loomed over me._

I backed away, terrified as Eric's face seemed to stare down at me from Roger's body. I tripped fell to the floor as I tripped over his guitar case. Pain shot up through me as I landed hard on the floor. "Ahhh" I whimpered.

Roger's face appeared again, his eyes no longer angry but scared. Guilt flitted across his face as Mark came over to me. "Are you ok?"

I shook my head as I felt the baby move. Mark looked up at Roger, "God Roger..."

Roger reached out to me, "I'm sorry Rachael, I-I didn't mean to-"

"Its ok Roger, it was an accident." I said, trying to focus as the pain continued to spread.

Mark tried to help me up but I shook my head fervently, "I can't move, it hurts too much."

I felt the baby move again, but this time in a severely uncomfortable downward motion. "Mark, I think the baby, the baby's coming."

Collins ran over to the phone and dialed 911.

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Cliffhanger- I'm evil I know I know. Only 2 more chapters left and I will write as soon as I can but I have finals soon. I hope you enjoyed it. The song in this chapter was "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World. If you don't know it, I highly recommend it.

Please Read and Review! Criticism is always appreciated


	22. Through Hell

Chapter 22: Through Hell

**Rachael's POV**

I closed my eyes and bit my lip as the pain was starting to grow.

"I'm on hold! Stupid people…." Collins uttered. I heard Mark hesitate before telling him, "Collins ummm, just call Cindy. She's a nurse so she should be able to help."

I opened my eyes and looked up at him as I breathed deeply, "Mark….are…are you sure?"

I saw the how scared he was as he nodded, "I'm sure Rachael."

Collins went to hang up when they came off hold, "Yeah I need a doctor please….."

I held Marks hand tightly and squeezed it as another contraction came, "Ahhh!"

Roger knelt beside me and took my other hand, "Did the doctor tell you about those breathy things you're supposed to do? I remember seeing on some doctor show, this girl was in labor and they made her do this." He demonstrated the quick breathing for me. "Try it with me."

I tried to follow along with him until the throbbing started to wane. "Thank…thanks Roger." I panted

"Mark, whats your sister's number?" Collins asked the phone still in hand. "But I thought the hospital-" "They're sending a doctor, but I figure it would be better to have two people helping." Collins explained. "Oh ok, thanks man…" Mark stood to find the number for him.

Roger stayed next to me, "Excited?"

I nodded slowly, "Yes, but right now...the pain is all I can r-really think about."

Mark appeared back at my other side, "Helps on the way."

Another contraction came unexpectedly and I grabbed onto Mark, gripping him as I shook. "Shit...this hurts." They both held onto me as the contraction passed.

There was a knock on the door Collins ran to it. There stood a lanky black haired man in white coat and a medical bag in hand. I turned away and dug my head into Mark's chest: the doctor's face reminded me vaguely of Eric's.

"I need to set up, do you have a table?" The man's voice was stuffy and small, like a midget with a cold. I heard footsteps as he walked away towards the table. I turned my head around again as Mark whispered soothing things into my ear.

Roger looked at the doctor strangely then whispered to us, "You guys, that man's coat doesn't look real. It looks like the one's you can get at costume shop a couple streets over."

Mark's eyebrows rose, "How would you know what the costume looks like?"

Roger blushed slightly before replying, "Mimi and I played doctor once." He continued more seriously, "It looks the same, are we sure we can trust this guy?"

"We have to." Mark said firmly, "We have no other choice."

The doctor came over and sat in front of my legs. He held them open as he looked, "You're at about 5 centimeters. Very close."

He brushed his hand through his hair and opened his medical kit, snapping on some gloves he took out some sort of instrument. It was shiny and looked very painful.

I looked at it hesitantly, "W-what are you doing?"

"I need to check something quickly, hold on tightly to them." He said, something about his voice was very unnerving. I closed my eyes in anticipation and held onto both Roger and Mark. I screamed out in agony as I felt it come inside of me. I dug my nails into their skin as I held onto them, "Stop please!!! Ahhhhh, please stop stop stop!!!" I yelled as I went through excruciating pain.

It came out and I opened my eyes as tears streamed down my face to see them shooting glares at the doctor. "It's my job miss, you have to let me do my job."

I clung to Mark and shook my head, whimpering, "No, no more."

A contraction came again and I kept my head in Mark's chest, his fabric muffling my anguished cries. When it finally ended, I released my grip and looked up at ceiling, panting.

"Miss, please I need to check again." The doctor said, holding my legs wider this time.

I reluctantly resumed my death grip and let him use the instrument. Maybe it won't hurt as much this time, I thought. It came inside, causing a searing pain. I screamed again much louder this time with hot tears on my cheek. "Stop!!"

He removed it with a disgruntled look on his face. There was a merry ringing sound and the doctor looked down at his phone, "Sorry I need to take this."

Before Mark could protest he picked up his phone and walked to the other side of the room.

"Some doctor." Collins said under his breath.

"M-Mark, I think, I think, he's doing it on purpose. It hurts so bad, whatever he does it doesn't feel right." I said shakily

He looked over at the doctor who was pacing and talking quietly on his phone, "You sure?"

I nodded and Roger whispered in animatedly, "I was right, this guy is some kind of phony. He has to be."

There was a knock on the door and Collins opened the door again, but this time Cindy was standing there, looking shocked.

She ran over to me and carefully placed her hands on my knees. Her skin much softer than the doctors, and the simple comfort of that made me relax a little.

"Cindy. We think he's a fake doctor, can you talk to him please?" Roger asked, making sure to get his theory to her before anything else was said.

"Why do think so?" She asked, looking confusedly at us all. "He's hurting her on purpose and I'm positive that his coat is a costume." Roger said, "Please?"

She got up and went over to him as he hung up on his phone. Their conversation was out of my hearing range so I looked up Mark.

"She's going to help me right?" I asked, my voice smaller than normal. Before he could answer I cried out as another contraction came, "Owwwww!"

Roger tried breathing with me but I shook my head, I couldn't do that anymore. I just screamed and held on to Mark tightly as the baby moved foreward.

**Mark's POV**

I held her close to me as she screamed, it was terrible to see her in so much pain, but I knew I had to stay strong for her.

The doctor rushed by us, picking up his stuff and left, shutting the door loudly. What was that man up to? Cindy sat down again, looking troubled.

"Well, what was it?"

"I pretended that I was 'taking over his shift for the job'. With some lies and stuff I got out of him that 'our boss'' name is Eric, and that 'we're' instructed to put you through hell." She said, finishing quietly.

That bastard. Rachael clung tighter and cried into me, "H-How did he find me?"

Collins looked stunned while Roger was angry. How could he do this to her? She didn't deserve this. I stroked her hair, I couldn't lose it, I had to try and stay calm or else everything would be chaos.

"Can you help us?" I asked, turning to Cindy.

She pinned back her bangs, "I'll do everything I can." She gently opened Rachael's legs, "Hmmmm, well whatever he did, it tore her up really badly. Collins can you grab me some ice and towels."

Collins went to grab everything and quickly returned with it. Rachael looked up at me, "Mark, it hurts." I wiped her tears, "I know, she's going to make it better."

Cindy took one of towels and left it under her legs, then handed the ice to Roger, "Rub some on her stomach and some on her lips.

Rachael's grip tightened and she winced, "Contraction."

"As the pressure mounts I need you to try and push." Cindy instructed calmly.

She nodded and held onto me even tighter almost cutting off my circulation. She screamed out in pain her fingers digging into me. Cindy held onto her, "That's it Rachael, your doing good. Keep pushing, the heads coming."

A layer of sweat started to form on her skin, she moaned and cried out. Cindy looked and smiled, "The heads out." But then her smile fell, "Collins, towels now!!!"

I wiped her sweaty forehead as she gazed up at me, her eyes hazy with pain. "What's wrong?" she asked her voice breathy.

Cindy bit her lip, "Rachael, I need to clean you so hold onto Mark, ok?"

"What's going on?" I whispered to her, but she ignored me. Rachael kept her hand intertwined with mine. As Cindy cleaned her, she winced and squeezed my hand.

"Ok, on the next contraction, do the same thing, when you feel the pressure, push." Cindy said, setting down the towel down. It was all stained red. I felt myself pale, if that was possible, "Cindy…."

She just glared at me to stay quiet. Rachael nodded slowly then Roger rubbed some ice on her lips. After a moment or so, she began breathing heavily and held onto us tighter. Cindy nodded, "That's it Rachael, little pushes like that."

She screamed out and closed her eyes tightly, "Owwww! Ahhh, make it stop!"

"Its ok, just a little more keep going, this baby's coming fast. The stomach is coming now! Wait….stop, stop now!" She said, the tone of her voice alarmed me.

"Cindy, what is wrong? Tell me, please!" I begged her silently

"She's bleeding a lot, more than I've ever seen. That _doctor_ did a lot of damage." She whispered hurriedly as she cleaned her. As I watched her clean in worry, I barely noticed as Rachael grew heavier in my arms.

I looked down at her, she had her eyes closed and her hair was stuck to her sweaty forehead. I shook her slightly, "Rachael…Rachael?!" But she wasn't responding.

"Cindy, something happened to her!" Cindy looked up from her legs, and her eyes widened. "Shit! Collins, call an ambulance now."

I looked down at her again, she almost looked at peace. I couldn't lose her, "Rachael, come on Rach, wake up!"

Roger had his hand on her wrist and said under his breathe, "Her pulse is going."

"No! We're not – I can't… no!" I sputtered and held her closer, kissing her forehead.

The paramedics burst open the door, one of them pushing me away from her. "No, I need to stay with her. I'm not leaving her!" I followed them desperately as the carefully lifted her and took her down to the ambulance.

-------- (hours later)

I heard a loud voice overhead, "Rachael Cohen's party may now see her in room 122."

I shook my head, clearing my vision as we walked to her room. I smiled as she lay there with a baby in her arms. Rachael was just staring down at the baby. She looked over to us, "It's a girl." Her eyes had bags under them and she looked exhausted, but she was alive and that was all that mattered.

I went to her side and held her close to me, then looked down at my family. The baby gazed back up at me with curious eyes. She had a small tuft of dirty blond hair and green eyes. She cooed and squirmed about.

"I guess that's her hello." Rachael said softly.

"I guess so." I kissed her forehead. "She's beautiful like her mother." I said which make her blush.

"I like the name Evelyn." Rachael mumbled, looking down at our gorgeous girl.

"I like it." She looked like an Evelyn.

"Evelyn Rose Cohen." She finished.

Everyone moved into the room slowly, relief on their faces. "Thanks Cindy." I said as Roger and Collins looked at the baby.

"Its no problem" She said with a small smile, "I was surprised that you wanted me to come, but I'm glad to help. She's adorable."

"Thanks." I sat on the edge of the bed next to Rachael as she passed the baby to me.

Evelyn squealed and held onto one my fingers tightly, her tiny hand barely wrapping around it.

I had everything I ever needed.

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One chapter left! Ahh so sad, I love this story so much. Well I to break it to you, but do the EVIL finals I won't be able to post for maybe 2 weeks: which is why this chapter came today.

Read and Review!


	23. Wasn't Alone

Chapter 23: Wasn't Alone

Epilogue

I bet you all weren't expecting this, but its NO specific POV this time…hehe thought I'd switch it up for the last chappie, that's so sad to write. Ah well so it begins, here it is:

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(6 months later)

Mark looked down carefully at the two ribbons in front of him, a delicate thin red ribbon and a thicker baby blue ribbon. Evie smiled up at him, her cherubic cheeks turning slightly pink as she giggled. Thinking it matched best with her outfit, he tied the red ribbon around her head, finishing with a little bow that Rachael had taught him to make. Rachael's mother had sent this little English jumper and pants that had a mixture of red, blue and white in it. Evie cooed and lifted her arms up. Mark picked her up, letting her rest on his hip. Luckily, today his little cutie was in a good mood; on other days, she sometimes screamed and fussed if it was the wrong ribbon. Today she lay against him chest perfectly pleased at the choice.

Rachael poked her head in the door, "Darling, Maureen and Joanne arrived." Her green eyes brightened when she saw Evelyn. "Ohh, well don't you just look so adorable?" She said, her voice lowering into her motherly 'baby-talk' voice. Evie stuffed her fingers in her mouth and sniggled. Mark walked towards his wife and kissed her forehead. Stuck between them, Evie switched places and snuggled onto Rachael.

Ryan ran to them, his eyes wide in child-like wonder as he gazed upon the infant. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure little mister, just sit down on the couch…" Rachael went with the excited young boy.

Joanne gave Mark a hug, "It's good to see you, how have you two been holding up?"

"Good, there have been a couple nights here and there where she keeps us up all night. But for the most part she's a little angel." Mark said, pulling his camera out from his bag that Rachael had bought him last Christmas. He turned it on and panned to Maureen who was coming towards the lens, walking with a strange limp and goofy face – just being her overly dramatic self as usual. Mark couldn't help but laugh and gave her a hug.

"Good to see you Marky." She said in her perky voice. She looked around, her hair swishing and hitting him in the face, "Where's Roger?"

"He went out a while ago, he said he'd be back in time though. So he should be back soon." Mark said, now turning the camera onto Collins who was carrying some drinks.

Ella reached up for one, but Collins laughed heartily, "Not for you my dear." He handed the Stoli out to the adults, bringing the kids the newly purchased juice boxes. With income from Mark's job at the Martin Agency, Collin's teaching gigs, and Roger's newest band, things were _a little_ better off, allowing them to buy things like juice and actual food. They still had the usual Capn Crunch sitting in the back of the cupboard though.

The door opened and Mark panned to it. Roger stood there in his usual leather jacket, black shirt, and jeans. But, he wasn't alone.

"Umm, you guys? I want you to meet Stella….she's my girlfriend…." He finished hesitantly.

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I know you all hate cliff hangers, and especially at the end of a story, but I couldn't hesitate! It was instrumental in providing good suspense for the sequel, which is currently untitled, but it is all focused on Roger.

I wasn't planning to release this chapter yet, but my fingers kept itching for the keyboard. So the first chapter of the sequel should be up as soon as possible after my finals.

Thanks to all the faithful readers and to the reviewers, it means a lot!!

3 Nina


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